Deaf jokes

Thought I'd share some of my favourite deaf jokes. Of course, these aren't jokes by the deaf - those would be near impossible to translate into English and the punch-line wouldn't be the same. Enjoy!

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

An older gentleman had lost his hearing aid and wanted to get a new one. Before getting the new hearing aid, he wanted his ear cleaned out, so he went to his doctor. As the doctor was cleaning his ears, he noticed a foreign object lodged in the man's ear canal. With a pair a tweezers, the doctor removed the object. Upon closer examination, he discovered that it was a suppository. The doctor told the older gentleman that he had a suppository stuck in his ear. At this, the man exclaimed, "Now I know where I put my hearing aid!"

I noticed a deaf couple in the library talking to each other, evidently in a heated argument. The wife was getting more upset, using large signs, her husband could see that she was upset. Finally, he took both her hands in his, and signed, "Honey, you don't have to yell, I am not blind!"

A man marries a deaf girl. He signs: "let's make a code: if I want sex, I will squeeze your breast. In response, you can pull my penis once for Yes, and 50 times for No"

Deaf Girl

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful day with your family & friends celebrating this wonderful day.

I'm currently down south visiting my family - my parents and I drove down to spend Christmas Eve, Christmas and Boxing Day with my grandparents, aunt & cousin. We're leaving early tomorrow morning to drive back.

Of course, I wanted to look my best when seeing my family, as I hadn't seen them for some time. So... what does a girl do when she wants to look good? (No jokes about beauty sleep not being enough, thank you!) Gets a haircut of course.

So off to the hairdressers Mum and I go. We both had our hair coloured, cut, and blow-dryed. Now most women, my Mum included, love to chat at the hairdresser's. You get the latest local gossip and just generally have a nice natter while drinking a cup of tea.

Slightly different for me - getting my hair done is a very silent event. I have to take my hearing aids out when the dye is being put in my hair - don't want the dye accidentally dripping onto or into my hearing aids and breaking them. And likewise when the dye is being washed from my hair I don't wear my hearing aids. There's also no point wearing them when the hairdryer is being used on my hair, as I wouldn't hear anything anyway.

So, a visit to the hairdresser's is a very silent affair for me. Instead of putting my hearing aids in and taking them out every 5 minutes, I just leave them out. I also can't lip-read at the hairdresser's as you're sat facing a mirror - haven't learned to mirror-lip-read yet!

Mum said that she and a few others tried to start up conversations with me, but because I wasn't wearing my hearing aids, I was oblivious. It must have come across as very rude. Luckily, Mum was there to explain to everyone that I wasn't intentionally ignoring them, I just couldn't hear them. I had explained this before I took my hearing aids out, but most people don't believe me because I don't sound like a deaf person when I talk.

So, once we were finished at the hairdresser's, we head off back home to pack and get ready. Fast-forward a few hours and it's time to go to bed.

I'm just starting to fall asleep when I notice that my bedroom has suddenly become lighter. I open my eyes to see my Mum standing by my bed. I ask her what she's doing. She moves her lips, but no sound is coming out. Or rather, it is, but she's whispering!

'Mum, I'm deaf, I'm just going to sleep, I'm not wearing my hearing aids...'

Oops. Even my parents sometimes forget I'm deaf. Turns out she was just checking that Snoopy, my cat, was in my room before locking up the house.

Fast forward a day and we've arrived at my Grandparents' house. Lovely seeing everyone again. We all catch up and soon it's time for bed. I'm sleeping in my cousin's room and wanted an early night. He wasn't too fond of that idea - he was playing some online game on the XBox and talking with fellow gamers in the 'scrim' (whatever that means).

I told him he could continue to play, it wouldn't bother me. As soon as my hearing aids come out, I'm deaf. So he can continue to play to his heart's content. He was thrilled and told my parents that it's great having a deaf cousin. It does have its uses!

Christmas Day was lovely as well. Unfortunately, both Mum and I have horrible colds. Which means my ears are all bunged up as well, making hearing aids useless as I can't hear through them anyway.

My Aunt brings out these candles. They're tall, thin and hollow. She put on in my ear and burnt it. When it had burnt down, she took it out. It had cleared my ear right up. These candles take away ear wax (gross, I know), clearing up my ear so I'm able to wear my hearing aids again. Brilliant! Dad also uses the candles (since he gets a build-up of wax making him almost as deaf as me) and they clear his ears right up as well. Strange things, but very effective.

The rest of the day passes and we're watching TV. The subtitles are on for me, as I left my TV gadget thing at home. The family come in and ask 'why on earth are the subtitles on?'

'Because I'm deaf.'

'Oh yeh!'

It's not just my friends and parents forget that I'm deaf, but my extended family as well!

Very easily done.

Anyway, it's about time I sign off and go and be sociable.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Deaf Girl

Attention Passengers...

Snow. Isn't it wonderful? So pretty. So serene. So annoying!

I should be in Helsinki, Finland right now visiting a friend. I should have arrived there on Friday evening and be leaving to go back home tomorrow evening. Unfortunately, I am still in England. I made it as far as the plane...

Arrived at the airport at 4.30am. Went through security at just after 5am. Boarded the plane at just after 6am. Then... nothing. Everyone was sitting in their seats, the air hostess where bringing round drinks and biscuits, but the plane wasn't moving.

After 30 minutes there's an announcement from the pilot informing us there's a problem at Amsterdam airport (I'm taking a connecting flight via Asmterdam) due to snow. We have to sit on the plane for another hour. So we're all twiddling our thumbs. Eventually the hour passes. Only another announcement informs us we have to wait for another 30 minutes.

So after 30 minutes there's another announcement. Only I can't quite hear it. But everyone on the plane groans. I'm thinking; 'uhoh, this can't be good.'

I ask the woman sitting behind me what was just said - she informs me that in 10 minutes we're going to disembark the plane because for the next 3 hours it doesn't look like the snow is going to lift.

It's now a little after 8am. I'm fed up. And really, really wanting to get to Helsinki.

I go for a (non-alcoholic) drink in a bar and stand outside smoking. (Yes, this is after security - it's awesome, there's an outside smoking area past security!)

A woman comes up to me and asks me something. I don't hear her - too much background noise. She asks me something again, and again I don't hear her. She's getting frustrated and looks at me like I'm stupid. Asks me a question again. I tell her that I'm sorry, but I'm deaf and I can't hear her. She mumbles something and leaves.

I then wander around the shops for about an hour. Eventually I find myself at the information desk, but there's no one there. Get chatting to a guy that was on my flight. He offers for me to sit with him and his friends, as I'm there alone. I gladly take him up on his offer.

We all sit and chat for a bit, then suddenly everyone gets up. I ask what's going on. Turns out there had just been an announcement that the plane to Amsterdam is boarding again, which I hadn't heard. I'm thinking - it's a good thing this guy had offered for me to sit with them, as I hadn't heard the announcement and would have just been wondering aimlessly around the shops.

It's now almost 10am. We're sitting on the plane. Another 30 minutes goes by. Another announcement - more delays. We'll update you in an hour.

I manage to nap for a bit. When I woke up it was about 11.20. Still no news. Then there's another announcement, which again, I don't quite catch. So I ask an air hostess what's going on - she informs me that Amsterdam airport has closed due to snow. I'm having to lip-read what she's saying as there's so much noise from the other passengers that I can't hear anything.

So 20 minutes later we're all disembarking again and waiting for our luggage. That takes quite a while.

Finally, at 12.30 I have my luggage, my Dad has arrived to pick me up, and I'm heading back home.

Not the way I had envisioned spending 8 hours of my time on a Friday morning!

Deaf Girl

First date

I'm now back at uni. Cat-sitting for Snoopy was fun. Although, there is one problem - I didn't wear my hearing aids for most of the weekend, so relied on my little gadgets to keep me informed for things like the doorbell ringing, phone ringing etc. That wasn't the problem. The problem was Snoopy.

She's a cat. She has super-hearing. I am a deaf human, I have hardly any hearing. She jumps at any little noise. She's lying on the seat next to me, and then suddenly she's sitting up, ears forward, staring at the door. Of course, me being home alone and deaf, I'm thinking 'oh shit, is there someone out there? Is someone creeping around the house and I can't hear them?'

Of course, no creeping of any sorts was done (as far as I'm aware). Her super-hearing was probably picking up the movement of mice outside. But her sleeping-to-sudden-standing-at-attention did creep me out a bit! I learnt that it isn't so much fun being a deaf woman home alone!

In other news, BSL class last night was fun. We signed the story of 'The Snowman'... and I'm pleased to say, I started thinking like a deaf person. BSL is a visual language. It's all about creating a picture. I didn't know how to sign 'making a snowman', so I thought about it. Okay, it's about showing people what happened. So I did. And I was right! Slowly starting to get the hang of this. Yay!

I had a first date yesterday as well. We had a wander around and went for a drink at a coffee shop. It was nice, he was funny, much laughing was to be had. Though there were awkward moments were I just couldn't hear what he had said, but it was obvious he was expecting a response of some sort.

So of course, I did what I always do when I have no idea what response I should give - make one up and hope for the best. It seemed to work.

He doesn't know I'm deaf. As I've said in a previous entry, it's difficult to know when to tell someone; the first time you meet them, once you get to know them etc. There are risks whatever you do - a lot of people can't be bothered to deal with a deaf person, think it's too much hard work. Or if you tell them too soon it seems like you're giving attitude and daring them to make a wrong move.

I don't know if I'll see him again or not - we had a nice time, but was there any chemistry...? I don't know yet. So we'll see what happens. If I do see him again, I will have to tell him I am deaf. And we'll see if he's one of those people that doesn't care, or runs for the hills.

Deaf Girl

Peace and quiet

I'm currently at home cat-sitting while my parents are visiting friends in Germany. It's lovely. I'm not wearing my hearing aids - what's the point, it's just me and my cat Snoopy - and I'm thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet.

It's nice sometimes to just not wear them. They can occasionally make my ears all hot etc. So it's nice to not have to wear them this weekend.

Although, I'm not sure my neighbours would agree - they can probably hear the TV through the wall.

Okay, so I don't hear the doorbell, fire alarm or phone ring - but that's what my deaf alerter is for. So I'm wearing that little pager thing. Tell you what - it scares the hell out of Snoopy. The doorbell rang, and my pager - which I had put on the seat next to me, started vibrating (it's not like a phone vibrating - it's much stronger than that) and my poor cat who was sitting a couple of seats along, jumped out of her skin.

One minute she was all curled up on the sofa, dreaming about chasing mice or something, and the next she was on all fours on the floor staring at my pager. It was quite funny to watch.

It's nice not to hear sometimes and to just switch off.

Although I did put my hearing aids in for a bit today - had to go to the shops to get some stuff. Tell you what - I really had to use my lip-reading skills then. I have never seen the shops so busy, there was not a single parking space left in the car park - I had to wait about 5 minutes for a space to free up.

So of course, the shop was absolutely packed. And noisy. Especially after having a day and a half of silence. Very noisy. I needed to talk to someone behind the counter so that I could buy some Euros. I could not hear a thing she said. It probably didn't help that she was sitting behind some very thick glass. After asking her to repeat something a couple of times, I gave up using my hearing and instead focused on her lips to lip-read. It worked.

I might not get it first time, but I am getting better at lip-reading. I managed to buy the Euros with no problem, and even managed some polite conversation about Las Vegas.

And it's not just in the hearing world where lip-reading is useful - it's very useful in sign language class as well.

My sign language teacher is deaf with no speech. But she can lip-read and often when teaching us new signs she says what the sign is. Of course, she doesn't speak, but her lips form the word. A lot of the time the others can't understand her, as hearing people generally don't have the need to lip-read. I'm finding that it's getting easier and easier to read her lips (as she's a lip reader herself, she really forms each syllable so it's easier to read).

So - lip-reading isn't just helping me along in the hearing world, it's also helping me along in learning BSL.

Very useful indeed!

Deaf Girl

Consultant appointment

I did not want to get up this morning. I had an appointment to see a consultant for my hearing. I just wanted to snuggle right back down in bed and go back to sleep. I'm just so utterly sick and tired of having hearing tests.

For the past 5-6 years I've been having hearing tests bi-annually, so I know what to do. I could do it in my sleep (well okay, no I couldn't as when I'm asleep I'm dead to the world). But you get the point. Yet every time someone always talks me through it.

'Have you had a hearing test before?'
'Yes.'
'So you know what to do?'
'Yes.'
'Okay. So anyway, what you do is...'

So I really didn't want to go to hospital, do another heating test, and then be told that they're still not 100% sure what's causing my hearing loss.

Luckily, I was in for a pleasant surprise! The consultant had all my previous hearing test results so didn't need me to do another one. And... he actually took the time to talk to myself and my parents and really explain what's going on.

My hearing loss is caused by damage in my inner ear. Unfortunately, there is no way to tell if it is nerve damage, damage to the cochlear or damage to the neurons leading to the brain (no - this does not make me brain damaged!) or if the tiny hair in my inner ear are not working properly.

It's a shame we can't find out for certain what's causing it, but it wouldn't really make any difference. We know for sure that it's not damage to the bone, so an operation is out. However, it's not all doom and gloom.

There is no way of knowing what my hearing will do in 10, 20 or 30 years' time. I had always been lead to believe that In 2o years I will be deaf. This could still be the case. It could also be the case that my hearing stays as it is now. They have no idea what my hearing will do. So that's good - I may not go completely deaf. Fingers crossed!

And there's other good news: if my hearing does get worse and it gets so bad that hearing aids do nothing, then I can have a cochlear implant.

There was also quite an amusing bit where the consultant asked me to take my hearing aid out while he put a tuning fork behind my ear to see if I could hear it. He then started talking to me. I had to remind him that I didn't have my hearing aids in, so couldn't hear him.

I think he was slightly embarrassed at that - he's a consultant for people with hearing problems, and he forgot I was deaf... Whoops. So he turned to face me so I could read his lips.

So. It's good to have some answers. Even if there are still uncertainties. At least I know - vaguely - what the cause of my hearing loss is and that I will always have to wear either hearing aids or cochlear implants.

Deaf Girl

Difficult

Sign language is difficult. Like, really difficult. For those that think BSL is basically english but with signs instead of words, let me assure you, it really isn't.

It's a completely different language. You can't think in english and sign in BSL. You have to think in BSL. A sign in BSL might not have an english word equivalent and vice versa. In fact, one sign could be a whole english sentance.

You also have to watch facial expressions. Whereas the spoken language has different levels of pitch, intonation etc., the signed language has facial expressions. You can't just rely on your hands - that would be like someone speaking in a monotone voice.

The language syntax is also completely different. Take the following example.

English: I like your bag, where did you get it?
BSL: Bag like, from where.

English: The small red house on top of the hill.
BSL: hill, house, red, small on top.

Don't make the mistake that BSL is simple, is a child's language etc. Because it really isn't.

It's going to take me years and years to really grasp the language, to be fluent in it. This is quite difficult for me. Learning languages has always come naturally. If I were to suddenly wake up in Germany, with no one that spoke english around for miles, I would be able to look after myself. I'm not fluent in German, but I'm pretty good at it. I am fluent in english & dutch, and understand a bit of french.

I've always found that if I try hard enough when learning a language, it just comes to me naturally.

This isn't the case with BSL.

It's difficult, really difficult.

I'm feeling slightly disheartend. This is a language that, in 10 years time, might be the only language I can comunicate in. And right now, that is a very scary thought.

I'm not giving up, in fact I am more determined than ever to learn it. I'm just aware that it's going to be a long, difficult road.

Deaf Girl

A fun night

I was at a small house party the other night, celebrating the birthdays of two of my friends, S & P. It was fun.

It was quite hard for me to concentrate on any one specific sound as there was music playing, lots of conversation and also noises coming from someone's iPad. But it was fun. The atmosphere was good and I could make out some conversations close to me.

At one point we played pass-the-parcel. That was hilarious. Inside each layer there was a task that the person opening it had to complete. The only problem for me was that I couldn't hear whether the music was playing or not. So one of my friends, J, said she'd signal to me when the music stopped.

So the parcel went round and round, and then the guy next to me won't take it. I look up only to realise that my friend was signalling that the music had stopped. Whoops!

It was a very fun evening.

Then on the walk back to my house, I had an impromptu snowball fight with my housemate (I was wearing my purple hat).

Sure, I probably missed out on a few conversation or whatever, but I enjoyed myself.

Deaf Girl

Winter Wonderland

Everywhere you look at the minute all you can see is a sea of white. The beautiful colours of autumn have been replaced by a tranquil winter wonderland. Trees that were once full of colour are now a winter masterpiece covered in snow and ice. It truly is breathtaking (sometimes quite literally as your lungs are assaulted by the cold air!)

So, what do you do with all this magic around you? Simple - have a snow fight!

Snow has a way of bringing out your inner child. The purity and beauty of the snow speaks to your childish delights and it's not long before your mischievious inner self is let out to play.

Of course, sponatenous snow fights are out of the question - cheeky friends can't suddenly pelt me with snowballs as it could damage my hearing aids. But once I've taken out my hearing aids, let the fun begin.

There is nothing like running around, laughing and attacking your friends with a snowball.

I am slightly at a disadvantage - without my hearing aids, I can't hear anyone sneak up behind me. The tell-tale 'crunch crunch' of a boot on crisp snow falls, quite literally, on deaf ears with me.

So I've come up with a very simple solution (other than trying not to have my back to everyone). A hat. Now why didn't I think of that before? This came to me after I'd already been in a few snow fights. So simple.

I have a nice purple hat that I can pull down over my ears. Which means I can wear my hearing aids. Sure, it will block out some sound, but I won't be nearly as deaf as I am without my hearing aids. And another advantage - I won't be as cold either!

So, I now carry the hat in my handbag, for whenever the next impromptu snow fight is.

Ready... set... fire!

Deaf Girl

Deaf Club

I went to Deaf Club today with a friend of mine, J, that's also learning BSL. This particular Deaf Club is held once a month is aimed at helping BSL learners get a firmer grasp on the language.

I was very, very nervous before going. Also extremely excited. After all, this would be the first time that I really socialised with other deaf people. Would I be welcomed? Would my signing be good enough? Would I be looked down upon because I still have some hearing?

But I needn't have worried. Everyone was extremely welcoming, and didn't mind repeating what they had signed or getting another hearing person to say what they had signed. There were BSL students from all levels - ranging from level 1 through level 4.

For the first few hours J and I sat back and watched what was going on, taking in all the new signs and trying to figure out what they meant. Then we joined in and started to sign with people. One guy was absolutely hilarious and had me in fits of giggles.

I did find that I only understood about 1/4 of what was going on, but I loved it. It has made me realise how much I still have to learn though. I'm just a beginner, my signing isn't smooth and I'm still translating from english to BSL or vice versa. It will take a long time before I'm fluent.

Luckily there's some awesome people out there that are very patient and are more than happy to help all us BSL learners.

There's a Christmas dinner being held next month which I'd like to go to. Will have to make sure I'm free, it should be good fun.

In the meantime, I need to practice my signing so I'm not left asking 'could you please repeat that?' every two minutes.

I will master this language!

Deaf Girl

Serenity

Okay, so the other day was quite an emotional day. But I'm alright now. After all - I hadn't really expected to ever be a hearing person again. It was just difficult hearing from a specialist that this was the case. But I'm alright.

Life has a tendency to throw things at you, and if you don't adapt or roll with it, you'll end up being pretty miserable. You know what springs to mind? The serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

So, I'm doing good.

I was at a social last night, for the students at the church that I've just started going to. It was a really fun night. There were a few occasions where I couldn't hear what was going on - especially at the beginning where I was talking to a woman opposite me, while the guy next to me was talking to a guy across from me. Everything was just one loud noise, I couldn't make out anything.

But I've realised that that's okay. Instead of trying to catch every single word that is spoken, I've realised that as long as I get the gist of things, that's fine. After all, I'm no longer hearing. I'm deaf, I'm going to miss some things. Unless what I've missed is vital to the conversation, there's no point dwelling on it.

And it really was a fun night, and when I didn't catch something, I either asked someone to repeat what was said, or moved on. It was a really good night.

In other news, I was quite excited the other day. I picked up Diva, a monthly magazine, and was pleasently surprised to discover that a letter I had written to them was printed in the 'Your Shout' section at the beginning. If you recall, I wrote here that I was thrilled to see that they had written a piece about a deaf song signer (blog entry here).

I wrote in to express how pleased I was to see that article, and they printed my letter. Not a big deal, I know, but still, it's quite cool to see my letter there!

Deaf Girl

Hospital appointment

I cried today.

I had an appointment at the ENT (Ears, Nose & Throat) department of the hospital today. It was the appointment we'd been waiting for for quite a while to finally get some answers as to why I'm deaf.

This was the appointment that would tell me once and for all what the hell is going on with my ears. It was also the appointment that would determine whether or not my parents would learn BSL.

So we got there (my parents came with me), sat and waited for a bit, twiddling our thumbs until I was called. I had another hearing test. The woman started to explain what I had to do, she then saw I was wearing hearing aids and said 'I suppose you're pretty familiar with these huh?'

Just a bit! After all, this is the third hearing test I've had this year alone.

So we get started. The usual, press a button if you hear a sound. I wait. And wait. And wait some more. I'm thinking, 'oh shit! I can't hear anything! Surely by now I should be able to hear something? Has my hearing gotten that much worse?'

No, it just turns out she was chatting with one of her friends about her love life and hadn't started the test yet. Several times she stops to talk to one of her friends. But finally, we finish.

So we go to see the consultant. Who didn't have any of my records. He thought I was a new patient at the hospital. I have been a patient of that department for about 3 years now.

So far, I am not filled with confidence at their level of professionalism.

The consultant informs us that the hearing test that I had just taken was inconclusive. He implied that it was somehow my fault that the test hadn't worked. It had nothing to do with them chatting to each other and not paying attention to what they were doing. No, it was definitely my fault.

By this point a nurse has managed to track down my other hearing test results. He has a look at them and the new one. Mumbles to himself a bit, asks about my history, and eventually tells me that my hearing loss is most likely due to damages to the nerves in the inner ear, and not due to calcification of the bones as had been originally suggested.

He performs another crude test which involved him banging a tuning fork and holding it to my ear and then holding it against my head behind my ear. He asked me if I could hear this.

I look at him.

'Yes...'

He sees me looking at him strangely. Then he realises; I've still got my hearing aids in. Of course I can hear it!

So he repeats the process, this time without me wearing my hearing aids. He asked me which I could hear better - in front of my ear or against my head. The answer is in front of my ear. Which would suggest nerve damage.

Meaning; my deafness is incurable. If it does get worse, there is no operation for it.

I hadn't realised before, but I had been holding out hope. Until I had been told that there really is nothing that can be done, somewhere, in the back of my mind, the thought had always been there that if my hearing got a loss worse, I could maybe have an operation that might make me hearing again.

It wasn't much, and I didn't really believe I would ever be hearing again, but the hope, the maybe had always been there. But now that bubble has burst, and I realise that I will never again be hearing. I will be deaf for the rest of my life. I will never hear birds without my hearing aids. I will never be able to cuddle someone without first having to take my hearing aids out to avoid feedback. I will never... well, you get the picture.

I hadn't realised that I had held out this secret hope. And now it's dashed. So I felt sorry for myself and had a bit of a cry.

I've now stopped the self-pitying mode and realised life could be so much worse. I can still hear with my hearing aids. I have perfect vision. A great life. So what if I'm deaf?

The consultant also said that it's unlikely that my hearing will get worse, and if it does it will take years and years before I go completely deaf. Good news.

He has referred us to a specialist that will be able to say for certain whether my deafness is nerve damage or the bone. But at this point, I've accepted it's nerve damage. It looks highly unlikely to be bone damage.

So, this means that my hearing will most likely stay as it is for a while yet. It does mean that I will probably be in limbo (see previous entry) for quite a while yet. But you know what? It's not such a bad place to be.

You'll be glad to read that I've stopped feeling sorry for myself - after all, being deaf does have its advantages. One of them being that apparently the TV in the house that I share with uni friends makes a rather annoying high pitched noise. I can't hear it, even with my hearing aids in. It drives my housemates mad. I am blissfully unaware and enjoy watching TV without the apparent horrible noise.

Until next time,

Deaf Girl

Limbo

Some days I wish I had been born deaf, instead of slowly going deaf. It's hard living on the edge of two worlds. I don't fully fit in in the hearing world, or the deaf world. Sometimes it feels like I live in limbo.

Yes, I am learning BSL and lip-reading. But until I fully master both of them, I don't fit in anywhere. Hearing people see me as deaf. Deaf people view me as hearing. I am both, I am neither.

The deaf world has it's own hierarchy - the highest being deaf born to deaf parents. The lowest being hearing impaired but not from birth.

I don't mourn my hearing loss. I don't wish I was hearing again. I just wish I was one or the other.

I want to fit in somewhere. But at the minute I am in no man's land.

Learning a new language is difficult and it will take years before I am fluent in BSL. I would love to go to Deaf Club and fit in and forget about the hearing world for a while. But my BSL isn't good enough for that yet - I am only a beginner. And most people in Deaf Club aren't that welcome to beginner BSL users, after all, Deaf Club is a place for deaf people to go to take a break from the hearing world. The last thing they want is to babysit a not-deaf-not-hearing person that hasn't fully grasped their language.

But I need a respite from the hearing world as well. So it can be tough.

That's why I like lip-reading -we're all in the same boat. We were all hearing but are now deaf. No one gets annoyed when you ask to repeat something. No one judges you for being at the bottom of the hierarchy. Everyone is welcoming.

But it is a place where you learn how to cope in your old home, the hearing world. it's not really a break from anything.

In December there is a Deaf Club meeting where beginner BSL users are welcome. I'm really looking forward to that. It should be good.

Greetings from the twilight zone,

Deaf Girl

Birthday party

It was the birthday celebration of the girlfriend of one of my friends, K, last night. It was a great night, had a really nice time. I do have to say though, I was really nervous about going. For two reasons - the first being that the only person I knew that would be there was K, and the second reason was that I was terrified of making a bad impression. Was quite nervous and imagining all the things that could go wrong - mishearing a conversation and making a statement that would make me look like an idiot.

I was considering getting in touch with K and not going. But then I thought, 'well, that's stupid, if I do that, I'm letting my 'disability' rule my life. I have nothing to be ashamed of'.

And as it turned out, I had absolutely no reason to be nervous. Everyone there was lovely.

We went to a restaurant followed by a few bars. As you all know, in places where there's a lot of background noise I don't hear all that well. But K was great - she made sure that I was included, and when people burst out laughing at something or other, she would ask me if I'd heard and explain what happened if I hadn't heard.

I'm always wary in some situations - I don't want to be the party-pooper and keep asking 'what's going?' 'what did s/he say?' 'what was the joke?' 'can you repeat that?'. It annoys some people. But K made sure that I was included in everything and would repeat things without me having to ask her to.

And all her friends were lovely as well - none of them covered their mouths when speaking to me and they all seemed to take my deafness in their stride. There was none of that 'oh you're deaf, poor you!' bullshit that I seem to get a lot.

There were a few questions - how long have you been deaf, how deaf are you etc. I much prefer being asked questions rather than people assuming things. I would rather people ask me questions rather than sit there uncomfortably not knowing how to act.

Later on in the evening I was also teaching a few of them some signs - the kind of things everyone wants to learn when they meet someone that knows a language that they don't. I am of course, talking about swear words. It's quite fun.

So, it was a great night, met a lot of great people and I have absolutely no idea why I was worried in the first place. Am very glad that I didn't let my insecurities rule my life and decided to just have fun.

Deaf Girl

Those intimate moments

I've been debating about writing this entry for a while. Finally, I decided to take the plunge and write it. After all, this blog is to inform hearing people of all the aspects of my life as a deaf person. This would also include my life in the bedroom. So be warned - if you don't want to know, don't read on! (I really hope my family take the hint and don't read on - there are certain things relatives just don't need to know!)

One of the problems I've noticed with my hearing aids is that if my head is in a certain position (ie, if I'm cuddling someone and have my head rested against their chest etc.) then I get feedback from them. The same goes for if my head is in several other... positions. I find it easier to just take out my hearing aids when I'm getting intimate with someone.

This of course means that I am deaf in the bedroom, which can have its drawbacks! When it is someone's first time sleeping with a deaf person, the fact that I am deaf can slip one's mind in the heat of the moment. I'm assuming it has something to do with the fact that during the heat of the moment, most of their blood flow isn't reaching their brain!

Or they remember that I'm deaf, but don't think it applies to this situation. It's happened once or twice that I've been asked 'why didn't you answer me when I talked to you?'. There is no point in whispering sweet nothings to me as I won't hear them to respond to.

Sometimes they think that I'm being a bitch, because I don't talk during those intimate moments. It's not such a big deal if it's a regular partner - my ex was used to silence in the bedroom. But if it's a first time for someone being with a deaf person, it can make them nervous. Let me assure you though - everything else is working properly, it's just my ears that don't work!

I've also had one or two surprises suddenly happening. I won't go into detail, which I'm sure you're relieved to hear, but I have had to ask one or two people what on earth they thought they were doing.

'I took your silence as a yes.'

'I'm deaf.'

'Oh yeh... oops!'

Like I said, it can lead to some very ...interesting... situations.

But what is life if it's not about making discoveries and being able to have a laugh at those kinds of situations, and of course, experiencing new things!

Deaf Girl

First class

This morning, for the first time in 3 years, I found myself vehemently wishing I wasn't deaf. Not because I couldn't hear something or felt like I was at a disadvantage, but because it was early and I wanted to sleep in!

I had my first lip-reading class today. It's absolutely fantastic. Am very pleased I decided to pull myself out of bed at the crack of dawn (well, 8am) and brave the freezing cold weather to make it to the 10am class.

I was quite nervous when I arrived. Didn't help that I was the first one there. I was also a bit daunted at first by the age gap between myself and the rest of the class - I'm the youngest by about 20-30 years. But all my worries soon faded away once I started talking to a few people. There's about 10 of us in the class and everyone is extremely friendly with a great sense of humour.

The thought did briefly cross my mind during the first half an hour if I was in the right class or not, as the first thing we did was learn how to fingerspell. I sat there thinking, 'oh crap, I'm not in a beginners BSL class am I? Oh no, how do I leave without feeling like an utter fool for entering the wrong classroom...' Luckily, I was in the right place.

A lot of HoH or deaf people that lip-read tend to use fingerspelling to show what the first letter of the word is that they are saying. A lot of letters are difficult to make out when you're reading lips (for example, words beginning with 'h') so they fingerspell 'h'. Very handy.

The lesson was 2 hours long. I was pleasently surprised by how much I could make out on my own without being taught first of all - seems like I've been picking up quite a lot already. But I have learned quite a bit as well in just this one lesson. Can't wait for next week for the next lesson. Lip-reading is going to be fantastic, and I can't wait until I can do it fluently. Though that will take time and a lot of practice.

In the meantime, I believe I'm thoroughly going to enjoy the class. Not only will lip-reading be a great skill to have, but it's also fantastic to spend time with other HoH/deaf people. I found that I relax a bit. Because we're all in the same - or similar - boat, there's no judging. No one feels sorry for each other. Everyone speaks clearly. No one minds if you're asked to repeat something. No one hides their mouths when talking. When someone is talking to you they look at you and don't turn their head when they're speaking.

Don't get me wrong - I love my hearing friends and family to bits. Wouldn't trade any of them for the world. But going to this class has shown me that it is nice to mix with fellow HoH/deaf people as well. Once my BSL is up to a good level, I will definitely join a deaf club.

Until then, I'm still on the edge of these two worlds, but I'm finding ways to allow me to function well in them both. Life is, after all, all about learning. And if possible, having fun and making some great friends and memories whilst learning!

Deaf Girl

Communication

I was quite nervous today. I had a woman come round to assess me to see whether I could sign up and start lip-reading classes. Because there aren't that many teachers, classes get full quite quickly. Not just anyone can join either - you have to be assessed to see if it's something you genuinly need and would benefit from.

So the woman came round and we chatted for a bit. She asked me questions about my hearing loss, whether anyone else in my family has it etc. Knowing that no one in my family can sign and that my hearing is gradually getting worse, she has approved me!

Wahey! Classes start next Wednesday.

Can't tell you how thrilled I am. Being able to lip-read will help me immensly. It means that I will be able to communicate with my hearing friends and family. I'm just thinking about all those situations where my hearing aids can't be used - swimming, night clubs etc. Once I can lip-read, things will be a lot better and I won't just have to stand there smiling and nodding like an imbecile because I can't hear what people are saying.

And of course, I'm learning BSL as well. I want to be able to communicate in the deaf world as well as the hearing world. To be able to communicate with other deaf people will be fantastic.

It will be nice to be able to function in both the hearing and the deaf world, as opposed to living on the edge of both.

Am thrilled.

Deaf Girl

Who & when

One of the difficulties - besides the obvious ones - about being deaf is when to tell people. Anyone with a disability that isn't obvious will know what I'm talking about. When meeting new people, when exactly do you bring up the subject?

If you're just meeting someone for the first time - say at a party or whatever - you don't introduce yourself by saying 'hi, I'm ... and I'm disabled.' But if you leave it too late it feels as if you're hiding your disability on purpose.

The subject of disability rarely comes up in conversation. On the odd occasions it does, and then it's easy to mention my deafness as it is just part of the current conversation. But to bring it up myself always feels odd. I don't want to hide it, but I don't particularly want to draw attention to it either.

But then, by not saying anything about my deafness to people that don't know I'm deaf, is that a lie of omission? It's not like you tell someone everything about you, unless it just happens to come up in conversation. For example; religious beliefs, political beliefs, dietary needs, sexuality, medical conditions etc etc.

So when is the best time for telling someone? Leave it too late and the person in question feels angry as they believe you hid it on purpose and they always ask 'why didn't you tell me sooner?', and tell people too early and they think you're either wanting attention, sympathy, making an issue out of it or are daring them to make a comment.

And who do you tell? Do you tell that cute guy/girl you've just met out clubbing, the one you're very sure things won't go any further than whatever happens that night, do you tell the woman at the shops that isn't speaking clearly, do you tell the woman you've met on holiday and will never see again?

And of course, if you tell people too soon - for instance that cute guy/girl that you've just met - you run the risk of them running scared. Some people do not want to be friends/lovers/whatever with someone that is different. It's too much effort. But if you're already friends/lovers/whatever with someone, then that someone might feel hurt or angry you didn't bring it up before, but are more willing to accept it because of all the time and effort that has been put into that relationship.

It has happened plenty of times that I'm talking to someone I've just met at a club, flirting and getting on great, when I've had to say 'do you want to go outside, I can't quite hear you in here'. Then once outside and the person finds out the reason why I can't hear them, they lose interest.

I won't lie to you, that hurts.

People say it is their loss, not mine. If you loss a friend/potential friend/lover/potential lover/whatever because they can't accept that you have a disability, then it is their problem, not yours. But it still hurts. Knowing that there is something about you that makes you different and strange, something that people can't always see past, something that stops you from becoming friends/lovers/whatever with an otherwise nice person... It will always hurt. Sometimes you may feel anger as well, but there will always be hurt.

It hurts knowing that you are cast aside because people can't accept you for who you are. It hurts knowing people lose interest in you because of something about you that you have no control over.

So, who do you tell and when? There is no right or wrong answer. I am just learning this. I make mistakes - I tell people too soon or too late. But despite this, I have somehow managed to find myself in the company of some pretty amazing friends. I am very lucky in that I have a great group of friends that aren't bothered by my deafness in the slightest.

But... I can't help but think though of the friends that could have been, had I not been deaf. Of the relationships that could have been, had I not been deaf.

Because of all of this, I find I am building defenses around myself. I am always wary when meeting new people or when the possibility of a relationship is on the horizon, as it has happened so many times that once they find out about my disability, I am cast aside.

It will always be painful. But you learn to live with it and move on. But you do become wary, it's hard not to.

As for the 'who do you tell and when', I have absolutely no idea. Wish I did, it would make life so much easier. Then again, no one ever said life was easy. You've just gotta roll with it and accept the things you can't change.

Deaf Girl

Q&A

Whilst on holiday, I met a woman who has a deaf son. We were talking and comparing ASL (American Sign Language) and BSL. There are quite a few differences - for example, in BSL you use both hands for the alphabet, in ASL you use one hand, the signs for most words are different etc. Although there were some similarities - for example, the signs for 'I need help' and 'do you want help?' were the same. I'm sure there are other similarities as well.

That brings me to questions I'm frequently asked about sign language and myself.

Q: Why is sign language different in each country?
A: Most countries have their own spoken language, it's the same for signed language. There isn't one universal spoken language that everyone speaks, it's the same for sign language. Having said that - it's a lot easier for people that sign to understand each other when signing in a different language, than it is for people that are speaking different languages to understand each other.

Q: Why is the sign language for American English, English and Australian english different?
A: AUSlan (Australian Sign Language) and NZSL (New Zealand Sign Language) are similar to BSL, as they evolved from 19th century BSL - the deaf schools set up in Australia were run by deaf people from London, Dublin and Edinburgh. So AUSlan developed from those three sign languages but is most similar to BSL. Auslan, BSL & NZSL have the same grammar.
ASL on the other hand is quite different and very similar to the sign language used in Zimbabwe, Haiti, Singapore, Kenya and many other countries. It is also similar to SLF (French Sign Language). In 1817 a man named Thomas Gallaudet and Laurent Clarc opened a deaf school in Connectict. At this school SLF was taught and most students brought in their own sign language that they had used at home. These all combined and eventually formed ASL.

Q: Is BSL the same all over the country?
A: There are slight differences in the South and North and other parts. Just as people speak in different accents in England, BSL also has different accents.

Q: Why do deaf people feel so passionately about sign language?
A: For a long time, it was illegal to teach BSL in schools and parents were told to stop their children from using signs or gestures as it would interfere with their deaf children to learn lip-reading and speech skills. It was only about 30 years or so ago that it finally became legal to teach BSL. Until then, the language was kept alive by deaf children of deaf parents teaching other deaf children the language. For a long, long time deaf people have been surpressed and discriminated against. Very few people realise that during World Wat 2, deaf people, alongisde Jews, Gypsies and homosexuals, were put in to concentration camps and killed. After facing so much persecution, it is only natural to feel strongly about fighting for our rights and the right to have our language accepted.

Q: Why do you overemphasize your facial expressions when you sign?
A: Hearing people use vocal emphasis, pitch and volume to speak. You can't do that in sign language - instead you use facial expressions and the speed of your signs etc to bring points across. You don't talk in a monotone voice, it's a similar thing in sign language.

Q: Why doesn't every deaf person learn how to lip-read and speak?
A: Why doesn't every hearing person learn how to sign? Some deaf people do learn how to lip-read and speak so as to be able to live in the world, but a lot of deaf people don't feel the need - the deaf world is a very nice place - it isn't necessary to for many deaf people to leave that world, so why should they?

Q: Why do you personally know more swear words than normal words?
A: I do know more normal words than swear words... but when learning a new language I always think it's fun to learn the rude words first! Not practical, but fun.

If there's anything else anyone would like to know, just ask and I'd be happy to answer if I can.

Deaf Girl

Media

One in seven people in the UK are registered as deaf or with hearing impairment. One in seven, which is about 14%. Yes, we're in the minority, but not by my much. Consider this; 13% of the population in the UK is a redhead. So statistically speaking, we are more common than redheads.

Now look at the media. Look at magazines, books, TV... Other minorities, such as redheads, are portrayed more frequently than hearing impaired or deaf people. The media isn't proportional to the general population. Not that that's surprising - the media typically only shows good-looking, white, non-disabled people. That's Hollywood, get used to it. The media isn't reality.

So it's always a pleasent surprise when I am watching TV and a minor character is deaf, or I pick up a book and one of the characters is hearing impaired. What's even nicer is that it's not made a big deal about. Some people have hearing difficulties. It doesn't define us. It's just a small part of who we are.

I picked up a book in the airport the other day. A chick-lit. The synopsis said it was a book about the relationship about a mother and her daughter. I started reading it, and it turns out the daughter is hard of hearing. I loved that it wasn't made a big thing of, it just was.

I was reading one of my monthly magazines, DIVA, and in it there was an article about singsong performer Fletcher (look her up on youtube, JaynieF). She's deaf and signs at different musical events (one example; one of Ronan Keating's concerts).

One assumption is that deaf people don't enjoy music and have nothing to gain from it. People like Fletcher and Lee (check out lovesbth on youtube) prove this is wrong. We do enjoy music (though admittedly not all deaf people, as some believe it's part of the hearing world and should be kept that way).

But I'm going off on a tangent. I was just thrilled to see an article about her in what is a pretty high-selling magazine. It's nice to know that we aren't being ignored and kept in the dark like old days. We're going mainstream baby!

Deaf Girl

Preferred language

It's been a long day today. I travelled back from the States with my parents. All in all, we travelled for 24 hours, on one train and 3 planes. And a hell of a lot waiting around in airports. I do have difficulty with planes - I find the change in pressure and all the noise (the airco, people talking etc etc) messes with my hearing aids and I can hardly hear a thing.

I was sitting a few seats away from my Mum. She tried to ask me something. No matter how hard I concentrated, I just could not hear her. And my lip-reading isn't good enough to be able to understand full sentances - at most I can pick out one or two words and generally figure out what is being said. But, being so tired from travelling, I just couldn't understand what she was saying.

Eventually, a lovely air-hostess acted as a go-between. We explained that I'm deaf and she was fine. She said she had had no idea. Since I was born hearing and have lived most of my life hearing, my voice sounds 'normal' and not the kind of voice people expect a deaf person to have. This air hostess was lovely, and for waking me up she touched my arm - when I'm asleep no amount of shouting at me will wake me up. I just don't hear it. So I need physical contact to wake me up.

Anyway, before the air hostess helped us, we were both getting frustrated. I couldn't hear. So I tried signing to my Mum. I've been teaching her some signing - we mostly fingerspell to each other. However, Mum was tired so couldn't concentrate on the signing, and I was tired so couldn't concentrate on lip-reading. Very frustrating.

Another thing which most people don't understand is that I prefer signing. I still have a long way to go before I'm fluent in BSL, but I know a lot of basic signs, and what I don' t know I fingerspell. My parents, and most people, find it hard to understand why I prefer this. After all, I grew up hearing and talking, so surely it should be my preferred method of communication?

But it's not. Even with my hearing aids in, I have difficulty judging the sound of my voice, whether I'm speaking too softly or too loudly. I'm very conscious that because I can't hear, I sometimes talk too loud. Or I think that I might be talking loud so speak quietly. It's very hard to find the normal range. It's probably an adjustment period and with practice I'll get used to it. I know people that have been deaf from birth or early childhood and have speech that have no problem with speaking in the normal sound rage. So it probably is because I am gradually losing my hearing that I have a problem with it.

But I do find it slightly embarrassing. So I prefer signing. Especially when I'm tired and don't have the energy to lip-read or try and judge whether I'm speaking too loud or too quiet. Of course, for my Mum it's the other way round - when she's tired, she doesn't like to sign. This is something we need to work on - we both need to adjust.

Of course, amongst my hearing friends that can't sign, I talk. But some of them know a few signs and again, I prefer signing those as opposed to talking.

Perhaps my parents are afraid that I will revert completely to signing and stop functioning in the hearing world. This will never be the case. I am more at ease at signing the few words I know as opposed to speaking them, but I don't expect everyone I know to learn BSL. So I will always speak - even if I go completely deaf, I will still have speech and lip-reading.

Some people prefer to talk in spanish or french or dutch - I prefer to sign.

But again, it's all about adjusting and finding a way to accept changes. I will always talk. But I will also sign.

Deaf Girl

Disabled

Of course, one thing about having a disability that isn't clearly visible, is that you have to tell everyone new you meet. Normally it doesn't come up in conversation, but one or two times it does. Like when I have to ask people to look at me when they're talking, put subtitles on the TV etc. It doesn't bother me, and mostly it doesn't bother other people.

A couple of days ago, I was chatting to two guys at a hotel I was staying at near Vegas. We were sitting by the pool sipping our cocktails and saying which guys in the hotel we thought were hot. I had no trouble understanding them - their voices were quite loud.

The two guys, K & T, wanted to swim for a bit. They quickly stripped off to their trunks and jumped in. I sat with my feet in the water, watching them and laughing. They kept asking me to join them, to which I had to reply that if my hearing aids got wet, they would break.

Bot of them looked at me, aghast. I could see they were thinking 'oh my Gawd, she's disabled!' An expression I've come to recognise, loathe and accept. It's automatic. Most people then move on and forget about it, some don't. Luckily, K & T were very accepting and non-judgmental. They were also very aware not to splash me with water etc.

K then got a look on his face - one that I haven't come across yet. One that I loved. A look of 'so what?'

'You can stand in the pool and not get your hearing aids wet - you don't have to sit on the edge looking in. We won't splash you. Just stand in the pool with your head above the water. There's no reason for you to be left out.'

And he was right. So I did.

The deepest end of the pool was only 5"3 deep, I'm 5"11 tall. I could easily stand in the pool and not get my hearing aids wet. So I did. And I had fun, and the guys were careful not to splash me. It was great.

But I realised something - society labels me as disabled, so, without realising it, I thought of myself as disabled, I put unnecessary limits on myself because I had a 'disabled' mindset. Yes, of course I have to be careful and there are certain things I can't do. But there is a lot that I can do.

I'm disabled. It doesn't mean I'm not able. Society deems anyone with any sort of disability to be fragile - must handle with care. And though I hadn't realised I was doing it, I was letting myself be put in to that box.

It took two strangers to point out to me that yes, I may have a disability, but this does not make me any less of a person. This does not make me incapable of doing things, it just means I have to go about things slightly differently. It is not something to be ashamed of. It just is.

I am disabled. Hear me roar.

Deaf Girl

Housekeeping!

Imagine you've been walking around Vegas all day. Having a great time, but by the time you get back to your room, you're exhausted. There was little wind outside and the sun was the hottest you've ever felt it. You're feet are aching. All you want to do is have a nice cool, long bath.

So you go to your hotel room. You get the book you've been reading and you step in the bath. You sigh as you feel the water cooling down your hot skin. Picking up your book, you lie back and relax. Everything is wonderful.

Suddenly, without warning the door swings open. You let out a startled gasp as a strange man stands there. He quickly closes the door.

You exit the bath as quickly as you can and put on the nearest piece of clothing - which in this instance was a swimming costume. Gingerly, you open the door to an empty room. So you open the door to the hall. And standing there, is a man from housekeeping.

He aplogises profusely, explaining how he knocked on the door first and shouted 'housekeeping'. You then explain you're deaf, and since you were in the bath you didn't have your hearing aids in, so didn't hear him.

He aplogises some more. You reassure him it's fine. Neither of you can look each other in the eye. Then you turn to go back in to your room and continue to have your bath. Only to realises the door has closed and you've locked yourself out. So you have to turn back to the man that minutes ago saw you naked, and ask him to let you in to your own room.

And the lesson you've learnt from this? If you're deaf and want to have a bath, put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door!

Deaf Girl

Queue arguing

I'm currently on holiday in America. At the minute I'm in LA. Having such a great time. Went to Universal Studio today. It was such a fun day. There was only one instance where my deafness caused me some problems.

I was standing in a queue for one of the attractions, when a group of about 20 people pushed their way to the front. It was definitely annoying. But I wasn't going to make an issue of it. I was still quite close to the front of the queue and was in holiday mode. It wasn't a big deal.

However, an American woman at the front thought otherwise. She started shouting at the people that had pushed in. She had every right to do so, as they were in the wrong. It got very heated. And several times she was pointing at me.

I couldn't hear what she was saying. Everyone around me was shouting and making noise, there was no way I could distinguish between her and them. Then a porter came out to see what the fuss was about. The woman talked to him for a while and kept pointing at me.

I could not hear a word of what was going on. I was getting slightly nervous - surely this woman didn't think that I had pushed to the front and was singling me out?

Then the porter turned to me and said something. Everyone else turned to look at me as well.

I had no idea what he said. Everyone was waiting for some kind of answer. Some people were glaring at me.

Thoughts going through my mind; I haven't done anything! Out of everyone here, why did that woman have to choose the deaf girl to make an example of? Everyone is staring at me, agh!

So I gave the only answer I could; 'I'm deaf, I don't know what you're saying.'

Some people went bright red in embarrassment. I felt slightly relieved - now at least I wasn't the only one in the crowd with a face the colour of a tomato!

Eventually though, things were cleared up. It turned out the woman was complaining on my behalf. She had said that I had been standing in the queue for 30 minutes and others had pushed in. It wasn't fair on me and everyone else that had been standing in line. The porter merely wanted to know if this was true.

And that was the end of that. I was allowed to go in ahead of the people that pushed in, and found my seat, relieved to be out of the spotlight.

I was quite nervous there for a while - I had absolutely no idea what was going on around me, if people were angry at me, if they thought I had done something wrong etc. And since I was alone, I had no hearing friends or family to ask what was going on.

But luckily everything was cleared up in the end and no harm was done, and the woman had been speaking out on my behalf, which was nice.

Deaf Girl

Party time

It was my friend's birthday yesterday. Was a really fun night. We went for a picnic and then had a houseparty. All had a lovely time.

I tend to take a lot of pictures at big gatherings. Firstly, because I'm a photographer's daughter and secondly, because when you can't really hear, it's easier to take pictures. As I said before, people tend to think I'm aloof or not interested because I don't talk much at loud gatherings. I can try and focus on a conversation between a few people, as long as I can see their lips. But there's a lot of noise going on, and it's difficult to know who to focus on.

So it's easier to take pictures. I'm part of the party and am excused from trying to hear. People just roll their eyes. But it is easier to sit back and snap pictures, rather than sit back silently and look like I'm not enjoying myself. Which is never the case, as I've said in a previous entry, am happy to enjoy the atmosphere, and can talk with the people directly close to me. I enjoy parties just as much as anyone, but I enjoy them for different reasons.

So, that's why I tend to take a lot of pictures. It's also one of the reasons why I used to smoke. If things are really noisy and loud and I just can't focus on any one thing in particular - like in a club, where the music is normally just to loud to hear anyone, it's easier to have an excuse to slip out. Like smoking. It's easier to say I'm going out for a smoke than it is to say it's too loud, I can't focus on anything, it's like all the sounds are a blur and is slightly uncomfortable. I love clubbing. But I need some time outside as well. And if I'm smoking when I'm outside, people don't give me any strange looks, whereas if I'm standing outside doing nothing, I get very strange looks.

Of course, now I've quit smoking I'll just have to go back to getting strange looks.

It's also the reason why I don't tend to talk on the dancefloor - it's basically impossible for me to make sense of anything. And why I prefer to stand/sit in the corner to talk where the music is generally somewhat quieter.

I also don't wear my hearing aids when I'm clubbing. It picks up the loudest noise, in this case, it's the music. There's no point in wearing them. I do wear them at parties, but once the music comes one - which it should, it's a party - it makes it more difficult to hear, as the music and all the people talking and whatever other noises are going on, just makes all the noises jumble together.

But like I said, I love parties and I love to go clubbing. If people are going out, you can hardly stop me! But it is slightly difficult for hard of hearing and deaf people. We enjoy parties and clubbing in slightly different ways, but still enjoy them none-the-less.

Deaf Girl

A bit wet

Hearing aids aren't waterproof. Which is unfortunate. I can't wear them when I go swimming, or have a shower, if it's torrential rain outside or whenever there's a lot of water around. In these cases, I have to take my hearing aids out and am deaf.

It's quite annoying, as there's certain things I can't do - have spontaneous water fights, play assassins etc. I'm also very aware of people playing pranks - if someone were to pour a glass of water - or any liquid - over my head as a joke, it would ruin hearing aids. And they aren't cheap!

But really, it's a small price to pay. Hearing aids are complex little things with batteries. And like most things with batteries, they aren't waterproof. Not really a big deal. So sometimes I have to be extra careful and sometimes I'm deaf. Not a big deal at all. Not like it does any harm... Or so you'd think!

There was one time when I was having a shower at my then-boyfriend's house. My hearing aids were out and I was enjoying the hot water - I tend to have quite long showers. I'm putting the conditioner in my hair and switch off the water. I hear a vague, quiet noise, but don't think much of it. I continue to do my hair. Only this noise persists. I wonder what it is.

So I put on a towel. Wander around the bathroom. Realise it's coming from the door. Realise it's my then-boyfriend shouting through the door. It turns out that the whole time I've been in the shower, I've been flooding the kitchen downstairs. And he's been banging on the door and shouting for me to switch the shower off.

Oops. Neither him nor his Mum were very amused, and I was mortified. Luckily though, there was no damage. And they understood that I wasn't ignoring them - I just didn't hear him banging and shouting. It all turned out fine in the end. Although for some reason, they always insisted I have a bath from then on, and I never used the shower again!

There've been other little mishaps. Quite often I step in the shower, forgetting I have my hearing aids in. Luckily, I've always remembered before the water managed to get to it. I'm sure my parents wouldn't be amused if I told them I broke a hearing aid by sheer forgetfulness. Although saying that, I have lost and broken a few hearing aids in the short while I've had them. But I guess that's a story for another time.

So yes, water is definitely not friends with hearing aids. And it doesn't just damage hearing aids, but kitchens as well...

Deaf Girl

TV

I love watching TV. Probably a bit too much. I follow a lot of different series; Private Practice, NCIS, Dexter, Supernatural, Special Victim's Unit... Far too many! Now, being deaf and watching TV isn't easy. Luckily, most programmes have subtitles. For the ones that don't, I use the neat little TV gadget.

However, I do prefer reading the subtitles, as I have to sit in a certain position with the gadget and not move. It's a nuisance. But I am aware that subtitles are a nuisance for hearing people. Most people put up with it. It's just one of those things. But I do know that some people prefer not to watch movies or TV with me, as they find the subtitles distracting. It annoys them. It gives away what people will say before they say it. One time I was watching a movie with a bunch of people and someone said 'what idiot put the subtitles on?' There was an awkward silence until I said 'it's for me, I'm deaf'. He accepted that, was slightly embarassed, but I do think that it annoyed him.

It's difficult sometimes, knowing you are the cause for people's annoyance and there's nothing you can do about it. So for those that it frustrates, I try not to watch too much TV with them. Luckily, it doesn't seem to bother most people. And it means a lot to me when people put the subtitles on without me having to remind them and ask them. It does sometimes feel like I'm putting people out, and that I am annoying them for needing subtitles. But luckily, most people don't seem to mind too much.

But not everything has subtitles. It's always a nuisance when they don't. Before I got my nifty TV gadget, I had to have the volume on extremely loud if subtitles weren't available - very annoying for the people in the room!

On the subject of TV, there is one programme that I absolutely love. It's called 'Sue Thomas, F.B.Eye', and follows a deaf woman FBI agent. It's great. In my opinion there aren't enough shows that feature deaf or disabled people. Almost every show that I know of is about hearing, non-disabled people. It can sometimes be a tad bit frustrating - no one says that TV is realistic, but it does make it seem as if the world is made up of hearing people alone. Very few shows feature succesful deaf people as their lead character.

Yes, we are in the minority, but we are still here. Don't forget about us! Don't ignore us! You might not think it, but we are around. Most people don't notice, or they aren't looking. But there are a lot of us out there. Almost every day I spot people signing to each other. It would be nice to be represented on the TV as well.

Which is why I love Sue Thomas, F.B.Eye, as not only is the character deaf, but the actress is as well. It's lovely to see a deaf person be recognised as succesful in mainstream society. Of course, there are quite a few deaf actors and actresses out there, but hardly any are in many succesful mainstream programmes. This doesn't include Shoshannah Stern, who plays in Jericho - again, it's great to see deaf people represented in a mainstream TV series.

And I can name quite a few famous deaf people - the founder of Girl Scouts in America (Juliette Low), Connie Briscoe, Matt Hamil, Ashley Fiolek etc.

Not really sure where I'm going with this. I suppose I wish more 'minorities' were represented on TV - and that TV itself catered for deaf people by providing subtitles for every program - as it gets frustrating when the program I want to watch doesn't have subtitles, but the adverts do!

Deaf Girl

Change

One thing I have to consider is how my deafness affects other people. My friends and family. Whether or not I see it as a disability, other people I do. I remember when I first started having hearing difficulties, one of my friends said 'I don't want to be friends with someone that's deaf'. At the time I was furious and hurt. But I've come to realise something - change is scary. And it isn't just me that has to live and deal with this change.

Everyone around me has to adapt in some way or another. Some people are fine with that - one of my friends said she might start to learn sign language. That meant an awful lot to me. But other people aren't so comfortable about it. Some people are afraid to talk about my lack of hearing, they're afraid to upset me. It makes them feel awkward. Many people have never met anyone with a disability and don't know how to act around me. Most people just want to forget and pretend I'm 'normal'.

It's a big thing to deal with change. Especially for my parents. One of my parents refuses to accept it and says there is surgery and we'll try that. Doesn't want to learn sign language until we've exhausted all possible options. Perhaps it is thought that my accepting and embracing this change in my life is a sign of defeat. Perhaps there's a belief I am giving up.

My parents don't understand why I refuse to have surgery that could possibly make me hearing again. Why would I live with a disability if there's a chance I could be 'normal'? But there is also a chance, with this surgery, that it could make me completely deaf. Yes, in 5-10 years time I could be completely deaf, in which case I would try the surgery then. But I want to hang on to what little hearing I have left and treasure it.

Yes, it is possible that this surgery could restore my hearing. But it's also possible it could do the complete opposite. And I am happy with how things are now. I don't see myself as being defeated or merely accepting this change to my life. I see myself as embracing it.

I am learning a new language. I am joining a new culture. I am seeing the world in a way I've never seen it before.

I have accepted the fact that I am going deaf. That doesn't mean I want to speed it up. I won't consider the surgery for another good few years. If there's a chance, even a small one, that I could lose my hearing completely, I want to be fluent in sign language and lip-reading first. I want my parents and those close to me to be able to sign. I don't want to wake up from the surgery, completely deaf and unable to communicate with anyone.

It is hard to accept change. Change is always scary. But it doesn't have to be. Change doesn't have to be a bad thing.

It is hard for me to remember that my deafness doesn't just affect me, but everyone around me. Some people can handle it, and some people can't. I need to remember, when I feel hurt and angry at losing friends or being criticised for not doing anything about my 'disability', that change is a scary thing, especially when you don't know anything about it.

We all want to live in a perfect world where everyone is healthy and has no problems - physically or emotionally. But we don't live in a world like that. And we all need to do our best to accept and embrace the differences in ourselves, and in others.

Deaf Girl

Difficulties

One thing about being deaf, is that people often misjudge me. For example, I am often described as 'aloof' or 'shy'. I am neither of those things. I can understand why I am described like that, even by people that know I am deaf. It is assumed that because I have hearing aids, when I'm wearing them, my hearing is just as good as any hearing person.

This is not the case. In big groups of people, or if there is a lot of background noise, I find it very hard to hear. I try to lip-read, but I'm not great at it. So often, I end up sitting back, just taking in the atmosphere, unable to participate in the conversations going on around me.

And this is why I am described as being 'aloof'. I am sociable by nature, and will often seek out company. I love to party. I love to hang out with friends. I don't mind not being able to always join in the conversation. But it can get frustrating. Especially when people just assume that because I am not talking, I am being anti-social. Or if I don't laugh at joke, that I am being miserable.

I also often get strange looks when I respond to something in a wrong way. It's very easy to mishear something. An example; 'I've got a pain in my knee', 'oh I'd love a cup of tea'. It can be amusing. And embarrassing. And it can cause some problems - if for example, someone is telling me something sad, but I mishear it for something else. Imagine someone telling you their grandfather has died, or their parents are getting a divorce, but you hear something completely different and laugh. If I'm not careful, I can cause a lot of offense when I don't mean to.

People also often think I'm being rude. Both my friends and strangers. Again, because I don't broadcast my 'disability', people often forget I am deaf and assume I'm ignoring them, when in fact I just didn't hear them.

There was one time when I was on a train, I wasn't wearing my hearing aids as my batteries had died, and I wasn't carrying any spare. I was just staring out of the window, lost in my own world, when suddenly someone shakes my shoulder. I look up to find an angry middle-aged man. He said something along the lines of 'I've asked you kindly to move from your seat as it is mine, now move.' He had raised his voice and was drawing the attention of other passengers.

Embarrassed, and slightly flustered, I pointed at my ticket, which clearly stated I was in the right seat. He looked at his own ticket, glared at me, and walked away. I was obviously just an obnoxious, rude youngster that had chosen to ignore him.

It has also happened several times when conductors ask me for my ticket, but I haven't heard them. Most are nice and wave their arms to get my attention. But not all of them. Obviously, after having asked me several times but being unaware, I received a tap on my shoulder. 'What, are you deaf or something? Let me see your ticket.' On this occasion, I wasn't embarrassed, but more annoyed. I replied 'yes actually, I am deaf. Here's your ticket'. I hadn't noticed, but several people had been watching. Some laughed at my reply, and the conductor went bright red. I did feel bad for him, and wished I hadn't snapped at him, but it can get frustrating for me as well as the person talking to me.

Things like that have happened on several occasions. I try my best to be aware of my surroundings, and to be aware if someone is talking to me. But I am human - and like anyone, I often find myself drifting away in my own thoughts.

So please, please don't think I'm blanking you or being intentionally aloof or antisocial. I just can't hear.

Deaf Girl.

Go Go Gadget Girl

One thing that I really like, is that I get lots of free gadgets from the NHS and my social worker, Dot. I've also bought some things. All of them help me to live in a hearing world.

The first thing I got was a necklace. It's bluetooth. I can connect it to my mobile phone. That way, if I want to call someone, or someone calls me, the phone automatically connects to the necklace, which in turn connects to my hearing aids. There's a microphone in the necklace, and whoever I'm talking to is talking directly in to my hearing aids. It's as if I'm wearing headphones. I love it! Of course, I do get some strange looks, as it looks like I'm walking around talking to myself. Quite a few times people have stopped as they're walking past me as they think I'm talking to them.

I can also connect the necklace to my Ipod, which is great. Again, it does have its disadvantages - since my hearing aids act as headphones, I can't hear if anyone is talking to me. A few times people have come up to me and asked me why I ignored them in town, to which I reply I was listening to music. Of course, they then say they didn't see any headphones, so I have to explain that I don't wear headphones, but for all intents and purposes, my hearing aids are the headphones. It's great.

The necklace also connects to my landline at home. So as long as I'm wearing the necklace, I can talk on the phone. I love it! It's horrible having to rely on other people to make important calls for you. If I wanted to order a taxi, call my doctors, order a take-in etc., I always had to rely on other people to make these calls for me, as I could never hear on the phone. So, as long as I'm wearing the necklace (and I remember to charge the necklace!), I can talk on the phone and listen to my Ipod whilst I'm out and about. It's fantastic!

Another one of my gadgets which I got from Dot is a different necklace. This one is quite big, and it works on a loop system. Hearing aids have an option where you can change it to the 'T' mode. If you're ever out and about and you see a sign on doors etc., with an ear with a line through and a little 'T', it means there is a loop system. They have them in banks, churches, some lecture halls etc. So you turn your hearing aid to the 'T' mode and again, it is as if the speaker (priest, bank teller, lecturer etc) is talking right in your ear.

Anyway, back to my gadget. There's a little box that is connected to the TV at home. When I'm wearing this necklace and have it switched to 'T' mode, the sound from the TV is directed straight to my hearing aids - again, as if I were wearing headphones. It's great for programmes that don't have subtitles (that's another entry for another time). The only problem with this one, is that the necklace has to be facing the box, so I have to sit in a certain way and hold the necklace in a certain place, otherwise all I hear is static. And I have to remember to charge it!

I've also been given a gadget for in my room, again from Dot. Now this gadget took a while to set up. It's a deaf alerter. It sits on my bedside table and is connected to this round white ball thing by a wire. The white ball thing is under my pillow. The main box is connected to the doorbell, the telephone and the fire alarm. It took the electrician quite a while to figure out how to connect it all properly - he was there for more than half the day trying to set it all up.

It means that when I'm sleeping and the fire alarm goes off, the white ball will vibrate (and believe me, it vibrates a lot - no one, not even the heaviest sleeper, could sleep through that) and alert me. I then look at the box which has a few different buttons, and can immediately tell what I'm being alerted to - the fire alarm, the telephone or the doorbell. Deaf parents have it connected to their babies' rooms as well, so they can be alerted to when their baby is crying.

In this box there is also a little pager. So if I'm not wearing my hearing aids - which if I'm alone at home I often don't, I carry the pager around, which again vibrates if either the fire alarm, telephone or doorbell goes. It's a very handy little thing. I just have to remember to put it back in the box every night to charge it. And it's very reassuring as well - it's nice to know that I won't sleep through a fire alarm because I couldn't hear it! I know it has reassured my parents, as it means they don't have to come and wake me up in case of a fire, my deaf alerter will have woken me up.

Of course, like all gadgets, it's not without its problems. For example, the doorbell alerter. There's a receiver which is connected to the doorbell to pick it up, which then wirelessly transfers that to the alarter. However, it picks up any loud noise. So if my parents or anyone is standing where the receiver is playing loud music, my alarter tells me that the doorbell is going. So I often open the door to find no one there. But all in all, I would say that is a small nuisance to pay for not dying of smoke inhalation!

There are other gadgets available - bluetooth radio, a music collar (basically, it vibrates in tune to the music), deaf phone and many other things. But for now I'm happy with the three gadgets I have. Especially since getting more would entail me having to remember to charge them, which I'm quite bad at remembering... It's quite annoying when I'm in the middle of a conversation on the phone, and my necklace suddenly dies!

But it's very nice to know that there are so many options out there, and that there are people out there working on how to make a deaf person's life easier. It's a very nice feeling.

Deaf Girl.

My first time...

...wearing a hearing aid that is. What on earth were you thinking of, you dirty minded people?? ;-P

Of course I knew my hearing was getting worse. No surprise there. Even though I was prepared for it, it came as a shock. For a few years I had gotten used to being told my hearing was getting worse, but still in the 'normal' range. Then, suddenly, around Christimas, I was told I needed a hearing aid and I'm classed as hearing impaired.

I cried that day. I felt as if my world was falling apart. I had listened in shock as the doctor told me what was wrong with me ears - that the little bones by the eardrums are calcing up, stopping sound from passing through. So I knew what was causing the problem - surely they could fix it?

They could. But with a huge risk - it could go great and I could revert back to my hearing life, or it could go wrong and I could go completely deaf. I was faced with the decision - risk it, or accept my new life. I chose the later.

And I don't regret it. Yes, it was a shock and I was upset at now being classed as disabled. But upon getting my hearing aid, I was thrilled. Suddenly I could hear things, things I didn't know I was missing. I could hear birds. I hadn't realised how quiet my life had become, until I put in my hearing aid. I could hear my parents talking. I could hear lectures. It was amazing.

Pretty soon, I was no longer upset, but excited. When I saw my flatmate L. after Christmas, I practically jumped up and down in excitment showing her my hearing aid and exclaiming I can now hear things and she won't have to shout anymore. It was great.

Though, as I said in my first post, it doesn't come without its issues.

Since then, I've had quite a few hearing aids. Each time I go for a hearing test, my hearing has worsened, and so I either get new hearing aids or the ones I have get adjusted. I no longer get so excited about getting new hearing aids, nor am I as upset. My 'disability' has become a part of me. It doesn't define me, it is not all I am. But it is a part of me. And you know what? I'm proud of being deaf.

I'm learning so much about the deaf culture, language and community. My eyes have been opened. I have learnt a lot, things I wouldn't have learnt had I not started losing my hearing.

But... I do smile everytime my hearing aids get adjusted, and I can once again hear birds singing. It's a beautiful sound - don't take it for granted, because it might not always be there. So for me, while I still can, I will enjoy it. I hope you will as well.

Bliss

The world is so loud. Wind, cars, people talking/shouting, the call of animals. It can be very tiring.

So, at the end of a day, there's nothing better than taking out my hearing aids and being in total silence. Ah, peace at last. Finally, after a long, hard day, I can relax. I love going to bed at night and taking them out.

Yes, in the beginning I was scared. I didn't want to live in silence. But now, now it is one of the things I enjoy the most. One of my favourite things to do is lie outside and watch the stars in silence. Nothing to distract me from the serenity and beauty of a starlit sky. Just complete and utter peace. I don't hear the wind, I don't hear the traffic, I don't hear the TV inside, I don't hear wild animals calling to each other. For me, this is bliss.

Of course, there are other times where my deafness comes in handy. When I'm having an arguement with someone for example. When I've had enough, I just switch my hearing aids off. Of course, the recipients of this behaviour (most often my parents!) don't find it amusing. But to me it's a great way to escape.

Had enough of the lectures from your parents? Tired of the same old aruguements repeating themselves? Fed up with idiots trying to convince you they're right? Just switch off your hearing aids.

Total silence. Total bliss. (And one more reason I may like this - it annoys the hell out of people!!)

Deaf Girl.

First post

So here we have it, my blog. The idea to start this first came about when my social worker, Dot, read a note I had written. The note was all about things I experience as a deaf person. I wrote it to get things off my chest, and to show my hearing friends how some things can be offending. Dot, and my parents, suggested I start a blog to show hearing people how my life is affected by being deaf. So here you have it.

The note I wrote:

It shouldn't come as a surprise to any of you that I am classed as deaf (I have just received a letter from my social worker stating that I am classed as 'deaf with speech' on the Register of Chorinically Sick and Disabled Persons).

Growing up, I was hearing. I've lived almost my entire life in the hearing world. However, by my later teens I noticed that I was struggling. It started slowly at first. Though my hearaing was declining at quite a rapid pace, I didn't receive my first hearing aid until I was 20. Now I have two hearing aids, and my hearing is considerably worse than it was two years ago.

It's been an adjustment for me, and will continue to be an adjustment as my hearing gets worse and worse. My entire life I have been part of this one world - the hearing world. But now I'm on the outside of two worlds - the hearing and the deaf world.

I am trying to adapt to botht he hearing and the deaf world. I can lip-read slightly, but by no means am I skilled at it. Likewise, I am learning BSL (British Sign Language), but again, I am by no means good at it. BSL is a language with its own grammar and syntax, and like any language, it takes a long time to master it completely. So for now I find myself on the edge of these two worlds until I master both lip-reading and sign language.

Thank Goid for hearing aids! Without them, I would be completely lost. Luckily, in most situations in the hearing world, my hearing aids work perfectly, and for a while I forget I am a deaf person in a hearing world. However, having hearing aids does not mean I have super-hearing. If you, with almost perfect hearing, can't hear something, then please don't say 'you're the one with the hearing aids, can you hear anything?'

There are situations where I am often reminded of my 'disability'. Hearing aids do not work in clubs, or in any situation where there is a lot of background noise. If it is very windy, chances are I will have difficulty hearing someone talk. If there are a lot of people all talking at once, it is difficult for me to pick out anything coherently. If I am driving my car, it is difficult for me to hear. They don't always pick things up on the TV either - so subtitles are always a must for me.

And I know it gets frustrating for people to have to repeat themselves. But it is frustrating for me as well. I try my best, but it isn't easy.

So please, when I ask you to repeat yourself, don't get annoyed, don't say 'it doesn't matter'. I am trying my best. By refusing to repeat what you have just said, by saying 'it doesn't matter', it is almost like you are saying 'you are not important, you are not worth repeating it to.' You may not see it that way, but when everyone is laughing at a joke or something that you've said and you don't repeat it to a HoH (Hard of Hearing) person, what message do you think that sends to us? That perhaps the joke was about us. That we are not important enough to repeat it to. You might think that whay you have said isn't worth repeating, but please, let us - me - be the judge of that. Don't exclude me.

When I tell people I am learning sign language, one of the first things they say is normally 'oh that's easy, I know sign language!' and proceed to show me their middle finger. Haha. Yes, I've heard that one before. Yes, if you ignore the blatant disregard these people have for a complex language, it was slightly amusing the first time someone said that. But bear in mind, that any jokes you make about sign language have probably been made 20 times already, and the humour wears off.

Another thing people often find amusing is to see how bad my hearing really is. When I'm not wearing my hearing aids, people find it funny to whisper around me to 'see how deaf you reall are'. When I don't respond, they find it hilarious. Then when they start laughing and I ask them why, they say my deafness is hilarious, as 'I can call you all sorts of names and you wouldn't even realise!' Yes, very funny. I can do the same back to you in BSL. But generally I try and refrain myself from being an ass and insulting you. I don't make of you for being short, or wearing glasses, for having spots, for being left-handed etc., so please don't make fun of me for being deaf.

And if you wish to talk about something you don't want me to know - please wait until I am out of the room, as you would any other person. Don't use my deafness against me to gossip about me. Even if you are planning a surprise etc., it isn't nice knowing that someone a few feet away is talking about me, but I can't hear them. I know you don't like it when people whisper about you when you're in the room - it is no different for me.

But please don't pity me for being deaf. I don't need to be pitied. I enjoy life and its beauties. I enjoy listening to music - something not many hearing people realise, even completely deaf people can enjoy music (ever heard of Beethoven?).

As deaf people we must adapt to the hearing world, but it would be nice if the hearing world would adapt to us as well. For instance, please don't mumble, cover your mouth or turn away when you're talking to a deaf person. We are trying our best to understand you, but you could make it easier on us.

Lastly though, if you are unsure or curious about anything to do with deafness - just ask. I have no problem with people asking me questions about being HoH/deaf. In fact, I prefer it when you ask instead of assuming something.

Thanks for reading!

Deaf Girl