Take it off

Not long ago I was going through airport security. I did the usual things; take my laptop out of my bag, put all the stuff from my pockets in to the tray (seriously, how is it possible to accumulate so much junk in a pocket that only fits 4 fingers?!) and take my shoes off. Stand in line, waiting for the bored security guards to call me through the metal detector. Get to the other side, without setting the metal detector off, and collect my stuff.

Only, I'm approached by two security guards. At first I think they're going to walk past me, then I realise they're walking towards me. The man (in his late 40s, short, fat and with a beard) looks at me with suspicious eyes. Uhoh. Have I done something wrong?

'Excuse me, what is that?' he says, pointing towards my chest.

I stare at him, looking slightly shocked, not entirely sure how to respond. Are my breasts illegal?

The woman with him, seeing my confusion, clears things up for me, 'he means the necklace'.

I look down. Oh. He's not pointing at my breasts (glad to know that having breasts isn't a crime), but at my bluetooth necklace. What's wrong with my bluetooth necklace?

'I've never heard of a bluetooth necklace,' he almost growls at me, 'why do you have one?'
'It connects my hearing aids to my mobile phone, so I can call people.'
'I've never heard of such a thing. Take it off.'
'It connects to my hearing aids.'
'Take. It. Off.'

I stare at him, he stares at me. I am clutching my necklace. I know I won't get it back if he takes it. I would be lost without it, and it's not exactly cheap. Around us, people are starting to look at us with interest. I feel myself going a lovely crimson colour (why do I blush so easily dammit!). I don't want to cause trouble, and I certainly don't want to be arrested by airport security and miss my flight. I just want to get on my way, with my necklace.

'Please, I'm deaf, I have hearing aids, the necklace connects to it so I can hear,' I say, whilst lifting up my hear and turning to him, showing him my hearing aids.

The man is about to say something, but luckily the woman interrupts.

'It's okay. Thank you.' She turns to leave. The man glares at her back, then at me and then, with a loud sigh, turns and follows the woman.

She was obviously satisfied with my explanation and realised that my necklace wasn't some sort of remote detonator.

Don't get me wrong - I think airport security do a good job, I'm very thankful towards them. I just think things would have been easier had one of them not been such a miserable guts.

Deaf Girl

Attention Passengers...

Snow. Isn't it wonderful? So pretty. So serene. So annoying!

I should be in Helsinki, Finland right now visiting a friend. I should have arrived there on Friday evening and be leaving to go back home tomorrow evening. Unfortunately, I am still in England. I made it as far as the plane...

Arrived at the airport at 4.30am. Went through security at just after 5am. Boarded the plane at just after 6am. Then... nothing. Everyone was sitting in their seats, the air hostess where bringing round drinks and biscuits, but the plane wasn't moving.

After 30 minutes there's an announcement from the pilot informing us there's a problem at Amsterdam airport (I'm taking a connecting flight via Asmterdam) due to snow. We have to sit on the plane for another hour. So we're all twiddling our thumbs. Eventually the hour passes. Only another announcement informs us we have to wait for another 30 minutes.

So after 30 minutes there's another announcement. Only I can't quite hear it. But everyone on the plane groans. I'm thinking; 'uhoh, this can't be good.'

I ask the woman sitting behind me what was just said - she informs me that in 10 minutes we're going to disembark the plane because for the next 3 hours it doesn't look like the snow is going to lift.

It's now a little after 8am. I'm fed up. And really, really wanting to get to Helsinki.

I go for a (non-alcoholic) drink in a bar and stand outside smoking. (Yes, this is after security - it's awesome, there's an outside smoking area past security!)

A woman comes up to me and asks me something. I don't hear her - too much background noise. She asks me something again, and again I don't hear her. She's getting frustrated and looks at me like I'm stupid. Asks me a question again. I tell her that I'm sorry, but I'm deaf and I can't hear her. She mumbles something and leaves.

I then wander around the shops for about an hour. Eventually I find myself at the information desk, but there's no one there. Get chatting to a guy that was on my flight. He offers for me to sit with him and his friends, as I'm there alone. I gladly take him up on his offer.

We all sit and chat for a bit, then suddenly everyone gets up. I ask what's going on. Turns out there had just been an announcement that the plane to Amsterdam is boarding again, which I hadn't heard. I'm thinking - it's a good thing this guy had offered for me to sit with them, as I hadn't heard the announcement and would have just been wondering aimlessly around the shops.

It's now almost 10am. We're sitting on the plane. Another 30 minutes goes by. Another announcement - more delays. We'll update you in an hour.

I manage to nap for a bit. When I woke up it was about 11.20. Still no news. Then there's another announcement, which again, I don't quite catch. So I ask an air hostess what's going on - she informs me that Amsterdam airport has closed due to snow. I'm having to lip-read what she's saying as there's so much noise from the other passengers that I can't hear anything.

So 20 minutes later we're all disembarking again and waiting for our luggage. That takes quite a while.

Finally, at 12.30 I have my luggage, my Dad has arrived to pick me up, and I'm heading back home.

Not the way I had envisioned spending 8 hours of my time on a Friday morning!

Deaf Girl