Disabled

Of course, one thing about having a disability that isn't clearly visible, is that you have to tell everyone new you meet. Normally it doesn't come up in conversation, but one or two times it does. Like when I have to ask people to look at me when they're talking, put subtitles on the TV etc. It doesn't bother me, and mostly it doesn't bother other people.

A couple of days ago, I was chatting to two guys at a hotel I was staying at near Vegas. We were sitting by the pool sipping our cocktails and saying which guys in the hotel we thought were hot. I had no trouble understanding them - their voices were quite loud.

The two guys, K & T, wanted to swim for a bit. They quickly stripped off to their trunks and jumped in. I sat with my feet in the water, watching them and laughing. They kept asking me to join them, to which I had to reply that if my hearing aids got wet, they would break.

Bot of them looked at me, aghast. I could see they were thinking 'oh my Gawd, she's disabled!' An expression I've come to recognise, loathe and accept. It's automatic. Most people then move on and forget about it, some don't. Luckily, K & T were very accepting and non-judgmental. They were also very aware not to splash me with water etc.

K then got a look on his face - one that I haven't come across yet. One that I loved. A look of 'so what?'

'You can stand in the pool and not get your hearing aids wet - you don't have to sit on the edge looking in. We won't splash you. Just stand in the pool with your head above the water. There's no reason for you to be left out.'

And he was right. So I did.

The deepest end of the pool was only 5"3 deep, I'm 5"11 tall. I could easily stand in the pool and not get my hearing aids wet. So I did. And I had fun, and the guys were careful not to splash me. It was great.

But I realised something - society labels me as disabled, so, without realising it, I thought of myself as disabled, I put unnecessary limits on myself because I had a 'disabled' mindset. Yes, of course I have to be careful and there are certain things I can't do. But there is a lot that I can do.

I'm disabled. It doesn't mean I'm not able. Society deems anyone with any sort of disability to be fragile - must handle with care. And though I hadn't realised I was doing it, I was letting myself be put in to that box.

It took two strangers to point out to me that yes, I may have a disability, but this does not make me any less of a person. This does not make me incapable of doing things, it just means I have to go about things slightly differently. It is not something to be ashamed of. It just is.

I am disabled. Hear me roar.

Deaf Girl