I'm watching a documentary that my parents recorded for me a while back. It's called "Deaf Teens: Hearing World". It follows a few d/Deaf teenagers around as they live their lives.
One of them, born to a deaf family, is having a cochlear implant before she goes to university.
Another, born to a hearing family, goes to a deaf school where the emphasis is on learning to lip-read and speak. So much so that using BSL is forbidden in class.
Another one is born to a Deaf family and is completely comfortable with who she is.
Another one was born to a hearing family, where they view his deafness as a disability and there is a sort of pity surrounding him.
The one that goes to a deaf boarding school has just been told off for not wearing her hearing aids. I'm amazed parents would send their child to a school like that. By doing that, they are teaching her that it is wrong to be deaf. They are teaching her that she should hide a part of her.
I don't deny that learning to lip-read is a good thing. I am learning to lip-read, it does help to get by in the hearing world. But this school is completely isolating these kids from the Deaf community. They went these kids to become a part of the hearing world, but these kids will always feel like they're on the edge of it, that they're not really part of it. And by telling them they can't use BSL, they are preventing them from becoming a part of the Deaf world.
To me, this is wrong.
I can relate to some of it as well. One of the girls has just gone to university. This is what she said:
"It's really hard trying to understand what people are saying, because obviously each person has a different lip pattern and the way the pronounce things, maybe because of their accent. It gets to a point where I just sort of give up and let myself sink back into the background and watch their lips move and not understand what they're saying."
Lip-reading is extremely difficult. Every person's lips move slightly differently when they speak - depending on their accent and on them as a person. So you have to be able to take that into account and focus all your energy on it. Which isn't so bad if you're talking to them one-on-one, but if you're in a group and everyone has a different accent, it gets extremely difficult and tiring. The easiest thing to do is to just sink back and become an observer. That's why when I'm at a party or in a group social situation, I prefer talking to only one or two people. Group discussions are a nightmare.
They also talk about hearing aids. When you're d/Deaf, you're used to silence. If you're then put in a situation which is extremely noisy, it's uncomfortable. When you're d/Deaf, you're not used to noise, it's not what is normal to you. You wear the hearing aids so you can function in the hearing world. Right now, I'm home alone and I'm not wearing hearing aids. I'm writing this blog and watching the documentary. When I'm writing in here, I pause the documentary, as I can't read the subtitles whilst I'm writing in here.
It's nice to go back to the quiet. I don't enjoy wearing my hearing aids. Yes, it's nice to hear the birds sing and to be able to hear people. But when I don't need to hear, I will take them out. If a programme that I'm watching has subtitles, I don't need to hear it. If I'm alone in the house, there's nothing that I need to hear. Even though I grew up in the hearing world and for the first 18 years of my life I was hearing, I'm not anymore. I'm not really part of the Deaf world either, I'm inbetween the two. Yes, I grew up hearing, but I am now deaf. I don't need to hear noise all the time. It gives me a headache.
There are so many attitudes to deafness and deaf people. Even within the Deaf community, there are so many attitudes and opinions. So many of us are self-conscious. Uncomfortable with who we are. Desperately trying to fit in to a world that, as a whole, is not accepting of us, is uncomfortable around us.
Like the deaf school that gives detention if you use BSL. It can be difficult to find your way in the world. Especially if you're trying to figure out which world you belong in - the hearing or the Deaf. But at the end of the day, you should never be made to feel ashamed of yourself. You should never be made to feel like you are sub-human because you are not part of the hearing world. There is nothing wrong with being d/Deaf, just like there is nothing wrong with being hearing.
But that deaf school... that's really got me going. I remember what it was like being a teenager (oh so many years ago!). For most of my teenage years I was hearing. It was difficult trying to work out who I was. Then when I started to lose my hearing, it became even more difficult. Suddenly I realised that there's more than one world, but that the other world is largely invisible to hearing people. Luckily I had great friends and family that supported me as I explored this new world that I had just been thrown in to. I was never made to feel like this new world was in any way inferior to the one that I had grown up in, nor was it in any way superior. It was just different. But for this school to take children that are trying to find themselves, trying to work out who they are and trying to overcome insecurities and tell them that the world that they are born in to is a lesser world and that they should work at getting by in the hearing world which will never fully accept them...
Maybe I'm overreacting, but I think that is horrendous.
I am deaf. I am intelligent. I have a sense of humour. I am stubborn. I am not ashamed of who I am. No one should be ashamed of who they are.
The documentary finishes after it's done a piece about Sencity. It's a nightclub in that is specifically for the d/Deaf. It was filmed on the opening night and it looks amazing! It's desrcibed as an attack on the senses and it looks fantastic. I would love to go! They have a vibrating dance floor so that you can feel the beat of the music. To every track they play they have insence to match the mood of the music...
It looks amazing. I've just had a look at their website and this is what they offer:
aromajockey » smell the senses
sensefloor » feel the music vibrating through your body
signdancers » watch the lyrics and emotion of the songs
foodjockey » taste the different emotions
visual jockey » watch inspiring images
light jockey » enter a new world of colours
feel the music suit » feel the music vibrating through your body
dancers » get excited about their body language
hairdressers » make your hair look kinky
massage » find a moment of rest at the party
visagie » a new face or an extreme make-up?
That is one place that I definitely want to go to. A place that celebrates who you are and doesn't try and make you into someone or something you're not. Amazing.
