Exams. I hate them. I despise them. Whoever invented them should be shot.
Right, with that little rant over, let me tell you a bit about the exam that I had today. If you discount the fact that it was a dreadful exam and very difficult, it was alright. It was definitely very useful to be deaf today.
I'm standing outside the room with about 15 other very nervous students. I'm in a small room as I'm allowed extra time for my exam. All the others in the room are also allowed extra time. It's nice not being in a big room with hundreds of other students.
Eventually we're allowed in the room. I sit at my allocated desk, get all my stuff ready. We're all sitting at our desk, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for the clock to hit 9.30am and we can start our exams. The seconds tick by. Finally, a voice booms through the room; "you may start your exam".
I'm reading my questions. A behind me guy coughs. I reread the question. He coughs again. I read it again and answer it.
On to the next question. The woman in front of me drops her pen on to the floor.
The next question. A guy to the left of me starts tapping his pen against the desk. Tap. Tap. Tap.
The next question. Tap. Tap. Tap.
The next question. The woman in front of me opens a sweet wrapper. Tap. Tap. Tap.
The exam invigilator whispers something to the guy behind me.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Question.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Okay. I'm about ready to stand up on my chair and shout; 'silence, please'! I'm ready to tear out my hair. I'm ready to make a scene.
And then... Then I think; you stupid, stupid woman! Just turn your hearing aids off! So I do. And...
Blissful silence.
I continue the rest of the exam in peace and quiet, not getting disturbed by anything or anyone. Fantastic. Or as fantastic as I could feel whilst taking this horrible exam.
Near the end of the exam the invigilator walks up to my desk with a piece of paper that says '15 minutes left'. I automatically sign back 'okay, thank you'. He gives me a strange look and then walks back to the front of the room. He obviously has information about me that says I'm deaf, as he's whispered to everyone else. So writing that note was really good of him. But he obviously didn't expect me to sign to him. Oh well.
I finish my exam with 5 minutes to spare and switch my hearing aids back on. The noise is deafening, if you'll excuse the pun. The guy next to me is still taping. Someone is blowing their nose. The airconditioning has been switched on and is very loud. Sweet wrappers are still being opened.
And I feel very lucky to be able to block out all the noise and live in silence for a while. And for a little moment, I actually feel sorry for all the other hearing people.
Ah, it's nice to be deaf.
Until next time,
Deaf Girl
Saturday 21 May 2011
Wednesday 11 May 2011
Studying
My life has been taken over at the minute. By studying. I'm even dreaming about studying. That's how sad my life is at the minute; I'm living, breathing and eating studying. (Metaphorically that is - I'm not actually eating my study notes).
So of course, studying comes up in a lot of conversations I'm having at the minute. Apart from spouting random facts (did you know that the Hippocampus [part of the brain] is shaped like a seahores and deals with spatial memory and is located in the medial temporal lobe, posterior to the amygdala which is shaped like an almond and deals with the memory of objects and is located in the anterior temporal lobe? I'll forgive you if you've just suddenly fallen asleep). So, apart from spouting random facts like that at any person that is unlucky enough to talk to me at the minute, we also talk about revision tactics.
So my Mum and I were talking about different ways of studying. I'm very set in my ways and study using small cards with all my notes on them. Mum was suggesting other ways.
Mum: you could record yourself saying everything and then put it on your iPod (not that I have an iPod) and listen to it at night. You'll learn without even realising!
Dad: Hey, that's a great idea! You should definitely do that!
At first I thought they were joking. But they were deadly serious. I waited a couple of seconds, wanting them to come to the realisation as to why that wouldn't work. But nothing. I roll my eyes.
Me: I'm deaf.
*Embarrassed stares*
Moving swiftly on. Lip-reading class was good fun today. Although quite difficult as a) I was tired and b) we were learning the different shapes vowels make.
For those that don't know, vowels are very, very hard to lipread. Especially considering the different ways people pronounce vowels, depending on their accents. They are easy to hear but hard to read. Whereas consonants are easy to read. We were learning how to read the 'ai' sound. Such as 'hair', 'there', 'dare' etc. As English isn't a phonetic language, the same sound can be spellt in many different ways, as I just showed.
Luckily lip-reading is a lot easier to learn than English spelling - which I still get wrong years after learning it!
We were also talking about the way some people try and help you to read their lips, not realising that they are making it more difficult. To read lips, we need to see all of your mouth, so it's best to stand a couple of feet away from us and make sure you're not standing in darkness. A lot of people try and move closer thinking that is easier. After all - if a hearing person can't hear, you move closer to shout to them. If you can't see something, you move it closer to see it.
Not so with lip-reading. At least a couple of feet distance would be nice. And also proper pronounciationg - not mumbling.
Another thing we were also talking about was the way people react to being told that you're deaf/HoH. Some people start shouting. Shouting doesn't make a difference. In fact, it makes it harder, as the pitch of you shouting reacts to hearing aids and makes them ring in our ears. And whispering isn't good either. One person has a habit of whispering in someone's ear. Hearing aids just pick up a 'swishing' sound, not words.
A nice, clear voice is best.
Anyway. I feel I've spent too much time on this blog and have been ignoring my studies. Time to hit the books again. I just can't wait to read more about protanopia, deuteranopia and tritanopia (various forms of colour-blindness). Fantastic.
(Silently counting the days until the exams are over and my thoughts are no longer restricted to technical terms such as 'bilateral liasons' and 'myelination').
I want my life back...
Deaf Girl
So of course, studying comes up in a lot of conversations I'm having at the minute. Apart from spouting random facts (did you know that the Hippocampus [part of the brain] is shaped like a seahores and deals with spatial memory and is located in the medial temporal lobe, posterior to the amygdala which is shaped like an almond and deals with the memory of objects and is located in the anterior temporal lobe? I'll forgive you if you've just suddenly fallen asleep). So, apart from spouting random facts like that at any person that is unlucky enough to talk to me at the minute, we also talk about revision tactics.
So my Mum and I were talking about different ways of studying. I'm very set in my ways and study using small cards with all my notes on them. Mum was suggesting other ways.
Mum: you could record yourself saying everything and then put it on your iPod (not that I have an iPod) and listen to it at night. You'll learn without even realising!
Dad: Hey, that's a great idea! You should definitely do that!
At first I thought they were joking. But they were deadly serious. I waited a couple of seconds, wanting them to come to the realisation as to why that wouldn't work. But nothing. I roll my eyes.
Me: I'm deaf.
*Embarrassed stares*
Moving swiftly on. Lip-reading class was good fun today. Although quite difficult as a) I was tired and b) we were learning the different shapes vowels make.
For those that don't know, vowels are very, very hard to lipread. Especially considering the different ways people pronounce vowels, depending on their accents. They are easy to hear but hard to read. Whereas consonants are easy to read. We were learning how to read the 'ai' sound. Such as 'hair', 'there', 'dare' etc. As English isn't a phonetic language, the same sound can be spellt in many different ways, as I just showed.
Luckily lip-reading is a lot easier to learn than English spelling - which I still get wrong years after learning it!
We were also talking about the way some people try and help you to read their lips, not realising that they are making it more difficult. To read lips, we need to see all of your mouth, so it's best to stand a couple of feet away from us and make sure you're not standing in darkness. A lot of people try and move closer thinking that is easier. After all - if a hearing person can't hear, you move closer to shout to them. If you can't see something, you move it closer to see it.
Not so with lip-reading. At least a couple of feet distance would be nice. And also proper pronounciationg - not mumbling.
Another thing we were also talking about was the way people react to being told that you're deaf/HoH. Some people start shouting. Shouting doesn't make a difference. In fact, it makes it harder, as the pitch of you shouting reacts to hearing aids and makes them ring in our ears. And whispering isn't good either. One person has a habit of whispering in someone's ear. Hearing aids just pick up a 'swishing' sound, not words.
A nice, clear voice is best.
Anyway. I feel I've spent too much time on this blog and have been ignoring my studies. Time to hit the books again. I just can't wait to read more about protanopia, deuteranopia and tritanopia (various forms of colour-blindness). Fantastic.
(Silently counting the days until the exams are over and my thoughts are no longer restricted to technical terms such as 'bilateral liasons' and 'myelination').
I want my life back...
Deaf Girl
Wednesday 4 May 2011
A right tit
Guys may not want to read any further than this! You know me, I don't shy away from any subject, especially not if it has to do with being deaf.
So, I went to the A&E last night (for those not living in Britain, A&E = Accident & Emergency, aka ER). I've been having some problems with one of my breasts. In that it is extremely sore and tender (and not for any of the fun reasons!). Specifically, my nipple. I've been on a course of antibiotics to try and clear it up, but it didn't work. Then last night it felt like it was burning.
So, at just after midnight, off to the hospital I go. Drive myself there, park and then walk in to the A&E. It's packed. There goes any hope of leaving before 5am. Standing at the reception for about 15 minutes until someone comes to the reception and takes my details. I realise the receptionist is hard of hearing.
"What's your name?"
"Victoria." - making sure I'm facing her and speaking clearly.
"Gloria?"
"Victoria." - speaking slightly louder and still facing her.
"Gloria?"
"Victoria!" - speaking very loudly and still facing her.
We continue like this for a while. At this point I don't care that the entire A&E can hear us and know my address, phone number, religious belief, my doctor's name and surgery address and anything else she asked and I shouted back. All I want to do is see a doctor to stop the excruciating burning sensation in my breast.
She asks me what the problem is. I reply that I'm having breast pain. Using the same volume of speech that I've been using this entire time. Okay, so the entire A&E knows my breast hurts. I turn to sit down and avoid looking at anyone, though I'm aware that people - men especially - are looking at me with interest and curiosity.
Ten minutes later, my name is called. I look around, wondering if someone else has the same name as me. Nope. Just me. The waiting hour is 4-5 hours, yet I'm being seen after waiting for only 10 minutes. People are no longer looking at me with curiosity, but with open hostility.
It soon becomes clear why I was seen so soon. The receptionist had misheard me. She thought I said I had CHEST pain not BREAST pain. Whoops. So once the nurse realises I'm not about to have a heart attack, he takes my temperature. Only he doesn't tell me he's going to take my temperature, instead he just picks up his thermometer and tries to put it in my ear.
He's extremely apologetic when he realises why that wasn't such a good idea. It's kind of difficult to measure the temparture of a hearing aid...
Then off I go to see a doctor. He asks me some questions, which I can't understand because he has his back to me as he's typing on the computer. I tell him that I'm sorry but that I can't hear him and I lip-read, so could he please face me when he's talking? He says no problem. He asks me a question, I respond. He turns to his computer and starts typing, whilst asking me another question. I remind him I can't read his lip with his back turned to me. He turns around and asks again. Then turns back to his computer and asks another question.
This continues for quite a while, with both of us ending up very frustrated.
Then he asks me if I'm breastfeeding. I reply that I'm not, to which he asks 'are you sure?'.
Uhm... yes. I think I'd be aware of the fact that a) I gave birth and b) some infant randomly attaches itself to my nipple and uses my breast as a buffet.
Then he tells me to let my breast 'just hang loose'. Lovely. Just what every woman wants to hear. Just let my breast hang loose. Fantastic.
Eventually, he gives me some more antibiotics and off I go home.
I do have to say, my previous experiences with the NHS have been okay - but this left me feeling far from confident. Oh well.
Deaf Girl
So, I went to the A&E last night (for those not living in Britain, A&E = Accident & Emergency, aka ER). I've been having some problems with one of my breasts. In that it is extremely sore and tender (and not for any of the fun reasons!). Specifically, my nipple. I've been on a course of antibiotics to try and clear it up, but it didn't work. Then last night it felt like it was burning.
So, at just after midnight, off to the hospital I go. Drive myself there, park and then walk in to the A&E. It's packed. There goes any hope of leaving before 5am. Standing at the reception for about 15 minutes until someone comes to the reception and takes my details. I realise the receptionist is hard of hearing.
"What's your name?"
"Victoria." - making sure I'm facing her and speaking clearly.
"Gloria?"
"Victoria." - speaking slightly louder and still facing her.
"Gloria?"
"Victoria!" - speaking very loudly and still facing her.
We continue like this for a while. At this point I don't care that the entire A&E can hear us and know my address, phone number, religious belief, my doctor's name and surgery address and anything else she asked and I shouted back. All I want to do is see a doctor to stop the excruciating burning sensation in my breast.
She asks me what the problem is. I reply that I'm having breast pain. Using the same volume of speech that I've been using this entire time. Okay, so the entire A&E knows my breast hurts. I turn to sit down and avoid looking at anyone, though I'm aware that people - men especially - are looking at me with interest and curiosity.
Ten minutes later, my name is called. I look around, wondering if someone else has the same name as me. Nope. Just me. The waiting hour is 4-5 hours, yet I'm being seen after waiting for only 10 minutes. People are no longer looking at me with curiosity, but with open hostility.
It soon becomes clear why I was seen so soon. The receptionist had misheard me. She thought I said I had CHEST pain not BREAST pain. Whoops. So once the nurse realises I'm not about to have a heart attack, he takes my temperature. Only he doesn't tell me he's going to take my temperature, instead he just picks up his thermometer and tries to put it in my ear.
He's extremely apologetic when he realises why that wasn't such a good idea. It's kind of difficult to measure the temparture of a hearing aid...
Then off I go to see a doctor. He asks me some questions, which I can't understand because he has his back to me as he's typing on the computer. I tell him that I'm sorry but that I can't hear him and I lip-read, so could he please face me when he's talking? He says no problem. He asks me a question, I respond. He turns to his computer and starts typing, whilst asking me another question. I remind him I can't read his lip with his back turned to me. He turns around and asks again. Then turns back to his computer and asks another question.
This continues for quite a while, with both of us ending up very frustrated.
Then he asks me if I'm breastfeeding. I reply that I'm not, to which he asks 'are you sure?'.
Uhm... yes. I think I'd be aware of the fact that a) I gave birth and b) some infant randomly attaches itself to my nipple and uses my breast as a buffet.
Then he tells me to let my breast 'just hang loose'. Lovely. Just what every woman wants to hear. Just let my breast hang loose. Fantastic.
Eventually, he gives me some more antibiotics and off I go home.
I do have to say, my previous experiences with the NHS have been okay - but this left me feeling far from confident. Oh well.
Deaf Girl
Tuesday 3 May 2011
Royal whispering
The Royal Wedding. Of course I have to mention it (some of you may groan at that), after all, it was on the news over and over and over again. Did I watch it? I did indeed, as did millions of others. Future king & queen and all that. Some of my family came over to watch it at our house and we had a small party.
And the reason why I was glued to the TV? Lipreading what everyone was saying... I didn't catch everything, but I did manage to read some of what they were saying. It was great. Everyone in the room kept asking me what they were saying. It was definitely fun being able to lip-read some of their conversations. Although I did feel a tad bad about it... invasion of privacy and all that.
For those of you wondering what they said, I only managed to catch a few things - Prince William telling Kate (should that be Princess Kate?) at the altar that she looked beautiful & lovely. Prince William telling his new bride when to wave and bow. Prince William telling his new bride that it's time for them to kiss. Kate asking her husband what's next and Prince William saying they want more. I also think he said it was embarrassing, but can't be entirely sure.
If you want to know more, here's a link.
Right, that's all I'm going to write about the wedding, promise!
I had a lovely evening out tonight with some friends. It was made even better that they considered the problems I have with my hearing aids, and they chose a quiet restaurant to go to, instead of one with a lot of background noise. I was very grateful and touched.
It was a lovely evening with much laughter and rude jokes.
What I also liked is that they asked me questions about my hearing - so many people don't want to ask me about it, or are afraid to bring up the subject. I much prefer being asked questions and explain what's causing my deafness, what it's like, how I feel about it etc.
Much better than people (often wrongly) assume things. I am also by no means embarrassed by my deafness as it is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. I can't wait until I have finally mastered BSL and can really throw myself in to the deaf community.
So, if you have questions, don't be afraid to ask!
Deaf Girl
And the reason why I was glued to the TV? Lipreading what everyone was saying... I didn't catch everything, but I did manage to read some of what they were saying. It was great. Everyone in the room kept asking me what they were saying. It was definitely fun being able to lip-read some of their conversations. Although I did feel a tad bad about it... invasion of privacy and all that.
For those of you wondering what they said, I only managed to catch a few things - Prince William telling Kate (should that be Princess Kate?) at the altar that she looked beautiful & lovely. Prince William telling his new bride when to wave and bow. Prince William telling his new bride that it's time for them to kiss. Kate asking her husband what's next and Prince William saying they want more. I also think he said it was embarrassing, but can't be entirely sure.
If you want to know more, here's a link.
Right, that's all I'm going to write about the wedding, promise!
I had a lovely evening out tonight with some friends. It was made even better that they considered the problems I have with my hearing aids, and they chose a quiet restaurant to go to, instead of one with a lot of background noise. I was very grateful and touched.
It was a lovely evening with much laughter and rude jokes.
What I also liked is that they asked me questions about my hearing - so many people don't want to ask me about it, or are afraid to bring up the subject. I much prefer being asked questions and explain what's causing my deafness, what it's like, how I feel about it etc.
Much better than people (often wrongly) assume things. I am also by no means embarrassed by my deafness as it is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. I can't wait until I have finally mastered BSL and can really throw myself in to the deaf community.
So, if you have questions, don't be afraid to ask!
Deaf Girl
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