First post

So here we have it, my blog. The idea to start this first came about when my social worker, Dot, read a note I had written. The note was all about things I experience as a deaf person. I wrote it to get things off my chest, and to show my hearing friends how some things can be offending. Dot, and my parents, suggested I start a blog to show hearing people how my life is affected by being deaf. So here you have it.

The note I wrote:

It shouldn't come as a surprise to any of you that I am classed as deaf (I have just received a letter from my social worker stating that I am classed as 'deaf with speech' on the Register of Chorinically Sick and Disabled Persons).

Growing up, I was hearing. I've lived almost my entire life in the hearing world. However, by my later teens I noticed that I was struggling. It started slowly at first. Though my hearaing was declining at quite a rapid pace, I didn't receive my first hearing aid until I was 20. Now I have two hearing aids, and my hearing is considerably worse than it was two years ago.

It's been an adjustment for me, and will continue to be an adjustment as my hearing gets worse and worse. My entire life I have been part of this one world - the hearing world. But now I'm on the outside of two worlds - the hearing and the deaf world.

I am trying to adapt to botht he hearing and the deaf world. I can lip-read slightly, but by no means am I skilled at it. Likewise, I am learning BSL (British Sign Language), but again, I am by no means good at it. BSL is a language with its own grammar and syntax, and like any language, it takes a long time to master it completely. So for now I find myself on the edge of these two worlds until I master both lip-reading and sign language.

Thank Goid for hearing aids! Without them, I would be completely lost. Luckily, in most situations in the hearing world, my hearing aids work perfectly, and for a while I forget I am a deaf person in a hearing world. However, having hearing aids does not mean I have super-hearing. If you, with almost perfect hearing, can't hear something, then please don't say 'you're the one with the hearing aids, can you hear anything?'

There are situations where I am often reminded of my 'disability'. Hearing aids do not work in clubs, or in any situation where there is a lot of background noise. If it is very windy, chances are I will have difficulty hearing someone talk. If there are a lot of people all talking at once, it is difficult for me to pick out anything coherently. If I am driving my car, it is difficult for me to hear. They don't always pick things up on the TV either - so subtitles are always a must for me.

And I know it gets frustrating for people to have to repeat themselves. But it is frustrating for me as well. I try my best, but it isn't easy.

So please, when I ask you to repeat yourself, don't get annoyed, don't say 'it doesn't matter'. I am trying my best. By refusing to repeat what you have just said, by saying 'it doesn't matter', it is almost like you are saying 'you are not important, you are not worth repeating it to.' You may not see it that way, but when everyone is laughing at a joke or something that you've said and you don't repeat it to a HoH (Hard of Hearing) person, what message do you think that sends to us? That perhaps the joke was about us. That we are not important enough to repeat it to. You might think that whay you have said isn't worth repeating, but please, let us - me - be the judge of that. Don't exclude me.

When I tell people I am learning sign language, one of the first things they say is normally 'oh that's easy, I know sign language!' and proceed to show me their middle finger. Haha. Yes, I've heard that one before. Yes, if you ignore the blatant disregard these people have for a complex language, it was slightly amusing the first time someone said that. But bear in mind, that any jokes you make about sign language have probably been made 20 times already, and the humour wears off.

Another thing people often find amusing is to see how bad my hearing really is. When I'm not wearing my hearing aids, people find it funny to whisper around me to 'see how deaf you reall are'. When I don't respond, they find it hilarious. Then when they start laughing and I ask them why, they say my deafness is hilarious, as 'I can call you all sorts of names and you wouldn't even realise!' Yes, very funny. I can do the same back to you in BSL. But generally I try and refrain myself from being an ass and insulting you. I don't make of you for being short, or wearing glasses, for having spots, for being left-handed etc., so please don't make fun of me for being deaf.

And if you wish to talk about something you don't want me to know - please wait until I am out of the room, as you would any other person. Don't use my deafness against me to gossip about me. Even if you are planning a surprise etc., it isn't nice knowing that someone a few feet away is talking about me, but I can't hear them. I know you don't like it when people whisper about you when you're in the room - it is no different for me.

But please don't pity me for being deaf. I don't need to be pitied. I enjoy life and its beauties. I enjoy listening to music - something not many hearing people realise, even completely deaf people can enjoy music (ever heard of Beethoven?).

As deaf people we must adapt to the hearing world, but it would be nice if the hearing world would adapt to us as well. For instance, please don't mumble, cover your mouth or turn away when you're talking to a deaf person. We are trying our best to understand you, but you could make it easier on us.

Lastly though, if you are unsure or curious about anything to do with deafness - just ask. I have no problem with people asking me questions about being HoH/deaf. In fact, I prefer it when you ask instead of assuming something.

Thanks for reading!

Deaf Girl