Congratulations!

My BSL exam is getting closer and closer... it's still a couple of months away, but am already getting nervous. 24th May is D-Day (which happens to be 3 days after my psychology exam for university). Practice practice practice...

I must look quite the sight, standing in front of the mirror in the lounge signing away to myself and practicing my facial expressions (as I've mentioned before - facial expressions are key, it's the 'tone', 'volume' and 'intonation' of BSL). I can imagine people walking past that happen to glance in thinking I must be slightly slow on the uptake... after all, what sane person stands in an empty room making weird faces and gestures? Come to think of it, that may be why I sometimes get odd looks from the neighbours. That would explain a lot!

There is one thing I've noticed about the other pupils in BSL class. When our teacher is teaching us, some people carry on with their conversations to each other when she has her back turned to them. They whisper. She's deaf. As in completely and utterly deaf. As in she doesn't hear a single sound. And did I mention they whisper? It's no secret that she is deaf, yet they still whisper. Hmmm. And they whisper to me as well. And cover their mouths. No matter how many times I explain I am deaf, I don't hear very well and lip-read, they continue to whisper with their hands covering their mouths. Hearing people, strange beings.

On a side note, one of the women in my lip-reading class congratulated me today. I was quite confused and tried to rack my brain. Had I recently completed a marathon or some other note-worthy event? Had I made a ground-breaking discovery that would change the world? Had I won the lottery? Not that I can recall. So what on earth...? Seeing my confused expression she quickly replied; 'on your engagement!'

My engagement? This is news to me! More to the point who is this (un)lucky person that I am engaged to? Last I checked I was definitely single. Don't I have to give my consent to being engaged? Questions, questions...

'Uhm, I'm not engaged?' - me, very confused.
'You're not?' - her, utterly bewildered.
'Definitely not.' - me, very convincing.
'But you're wearing an engagement ring?' - her, very unsure.

Hold up. Wait. What? An engagement ring? I quickly look down at my hands. Ah. I'm wearing a custom-made ring on my finger. Ooooh. She had confused my cheap flea-market bought ring for an engagement ring.


'Well, you can never be sure what the current style is amongst you youngsters these days.'

Anyway, moving on. I went out on a girl's social last night. It was fun. The first time that I've met most of them. I'm sure they thought I was slightly odd (no surprise there, you might say). The social was in a pub. A very loud pub. A pub filled with drunken louts - I mean, slightly intoxicated gentlemen - watching a game of football (soccer to you Americans). And by 'watching' I mean 'shouting/swearing/booing/cheering'. So, my hearing aids were useless. Most of the girls were also absent-mindedly watching the game and so had their heads turned away from me towards the TV. So, lip-reading is useless. Let's just smile and nod and pretend I have a clue about what's going on. Yup, definitely made a good impression there!

Deaf Girl

Let the music flow and the drinks play.

I love going out clubbing. Don't do it often enough (well, in my eyes anyway. I'm sure my degree would disagree and say I do it too much). Love dancing to the music and (when I'm sober) laugh at/with (delete as appropriate) my friends or (when I'm drunk) have embarrassing pictures taken of me. Although the embarrassing pictures tend to show up even when I haven't touched a drop of alcohol. Hmm...

But I digress. As I said, I love clubbing. There are a few issues though. I don't wear my hearing aids when I'm hitting the town. A) for fear of losing them and B) they're pretty much useless in a place with a lot of background noise, like a club. Which makes it impossible to hear anything anyone says. I literally only hear the music (which to me isn't that loud, but I have it on safe authority that it's much louder in clubs than it is playing on my laptop).

So lip-reading it is. And boy, am I glad I've started to go to lip-reading classes. It definitely comes in handy. Of course it's easy for my hearing friends to forget that I lip-read in clubs. It's a hearing person's instinct to shout in their hearing friends' ears in clubs. It's the only way to communicate. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way for me. There's absolutely no point in shouting in to my ears in a club - I'm deaf, all I hear is the music. At the start of the night they remember that I'm lip-reading, but after a few drinks they quickly forget and the next thing I know is their mouths next to my ear. But my friends, being the lovely people they are, don't mind when I ask them to move back and let me read their lips instead.

I make mistakes as well. It's easy for me to forget that my friends are hearing. Without my hearing aids, I have no idea how loud my voice is. So, not wanting to be screaming at the top of my lungs, my voice is often quite low in clubs. Not very useful to my friends that can't lip-read. It's one of those things - because I'm learning how to lip-read, it's easy for me to forget that not everyone else can.

Sometimes I also find myself starting to sign to some people. When I can't hear, I sign. My parents are slowly catching on and can usually grasp what I'm signing. Most of my friends though, cannot sign. Which I tend to forget. I found myself signing 'Hey! Good day?' to a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I was met with a very blank look. I was thinking 'what on earth is wrong, did I say something wrong?' Then it hit me. I didn't say it I signed it. Whoops.

But for the most part it's not really a problem. After all, the point of clubbing is to dance & drink, not talk. Still love it. (Although I am finding myself going home earlier and earlier - oh dear, please tell me my age isn't starting to show!)

Then there's walking home after a night out. I'm always wary and tend to drive in to town and park my car close to the clubs/pubs. Firstly, because I don't much fancy walking back home alone in the dark. I live in quite a safe-ish area, but it never hurts to be vigilant. Of course - it's difficult for me to be vigilant as I can't hear. Unless I keep looking behind me every 10 seconds, I have no idea if there's someone walking behind me or not. I can't hear if there's someone behind me, coming out of an alley to my side or running towards me.

It's quite difficult to be aware of your surroundings when you can't hear a thing. I can see people falling about drunk and laughing with each other, I just can't hear them. If I can't hear loud-mouthed louts, I can't hear anyone sneaking up on me. So I tend to be over-cautious and always prepared. (Read - keys inbetween my knuckles ready to punch someone should they jump out at me.) And always have my car parked close on a main road. I figure it's better to be safe than sorry.

(In case you hadn't guessed, I've just come back from a class night out).

Until next time,
Deaf Girl

Grumpy Old Women

One of the things I like about lip-reading classes is that you're with people that know exactly how you feel and what you're going through. Losing your hearing is something that hearing people and people born deaf can't relate to. People can sympathise and try to imagine, but never really understand. And most of the time that's fine, it's not like it's a big deal.

But it is nice to spend a couple of hours each week with other HoH people. This week, as well as learning how to lip-read, we were also sharing anecdotes which we could all relate to.

One woman had just had her cochlear implant switched on. For those that don't know, a cochlear implant is an electronic device that is surgically implanted and allows a profoundly deaf person to hear some things. See the picture below.



Anyway, as I was saying. She had just had her cochlear implant turned on and was sitting at home. Then she heard a noise she hadn't heard before. It was quite a frequent noise. What on earth was it? What did it mean? Where was it coming from? Was it a good or bad thing? It was only after she realised that the sound was happening every second that she realised it was the clock in her kitchen ticking. It was the seconds hand moving. A sound she had never heard before.

Another had an ear infection and so wasn't wearing her hearing aids (it was great to have a moan about being deaf with an ear infection with people that understand!). Only she had left the battery in and switched on. Next to a tin of cough sweets. She was out at the doctor's whilst her husband was at home going quietly mad as there was a strange high-pitched electrical noise coming from somewhere. It could be heard all throughout the house. When she came back from the doctor's he was about ready to tear his hait out. What the hell is that horrible noise?! She of course, had no idea what he was on about and couldn't hear a thing. Eventually the husband realised what it was and all was well - apart from his ringing ears and need to throttle someone.

I shared some of my stories (I left out the bedroom-antics-anecdotes as most of the people there are either old enough to be my parent or grandparent) as well. My neighbour recently greeted me from his drive way. I waved back. He yelled something. I didn't hear what it was, asked him to repeat. He did. I didn't hear it again and he was too far away to lip-read. So I just laughed and nodded to which I got a very odd look. He was probably telling me his cat had died or something. 'Oh wonderful, haha, yes rather!'

I was in church the other night. Chatting with a girl next to me. She asked me something - I thought she asked me a question about the conversation we were having which was rather depressing. I could make out 'how' 'you' 'feel' and 'about'. So I responded with 'oh I think it's dreadful, really terrible, it's devastating.' Turns out she was asking me how I felt about the fantastic news about Jesus and God. Oops.

So yes, it's great to be able to talk to people that know exactly how I feel. Lip-reading is quite fun. Although I'm sure to any observer we look like we should be on 'Grumpy Old (Wo)men' because of the way we moan and go on about things!

Deaf Girl

Achoo

I'm currently lying on my bed with a bar of chocolate watching Lip Serivce (which by the way, doesn't have any subtitles - very annoying) and a box of tissues on my bedside table. Yup, I'm ill.

Along with all the usual joys that come with being ill with bronchitis - delightfully sexy runny nose, alluring blood-shot eyes, seductive frog-like voice and a sensual cough - there is also the bunged up ears to deal with. My hearing at best is 40%. But when I'm ill, my hearing is practically non-existant. My hearing aids don't work when I'm ill either - it's like trying to catch a sound when my ears are full of cotton wool. Just won't work.

I had an interview the other day as well. Can't imagine what he must have thought of me, what with me coughing my guts up and asking 'sorry, can you repeat that?' every 5 minutes. Certainly wasn't very pleasant!

So. What does a deaf girl that looks & feels like death warmed over do when she's ill? Why, turns up at her parents' house for some TLC of course! Which is exactly where I am now, and plan on staying until I'm recovered.

I may be 23, but at heart, I'm definitely still a child. Nothing can beat recouperating at home with loving parents willing to do your washing and cook your dinner.

If it wasn't for me being ill, I might be enjoying it a bit more. Ah well, can't have everything.

Deaf Girl

Funny moments

As we all know, I'm a lip-reader. What I can't hear, I can see. My hearing aids work up to a point, and my eyes do the rest. Most - if not all - of my friend know this. But they often forget, and it's not obvious when I'm meeting new people.

Some people feel uncomfortable, as it appears I'm staring them in their eyes the whole time we talk. I've had one person make the comment that I'm quite 'intense' when they talk to me, to which I've had to reply that no, I'm not staring deep in to your eyes when we're taking, I'm lipreading...

There can be aother, albeit amusing, problems. One guy, when I was talking to him in a club, asked me if I wanted a kiss. I was confused - this seemed to have come out of nowhere. I politely declined his offer, generous though it may have been, and asked him where that had come from. He replied with something along the lines of 'well, the whole time we were talking you were looking at my lips, and I read somewhere that if a woman does that it means they want to kiss'. I laughed and explained to him I was lip-reading, to which he turned bright red.

Of course, there are other times that have caused me to laugh. For instance, when I'm wearing my bluetooth necklace (that connects to my hearing aids turning them in to a headphone) and answer my phone on that, people look at me strangely when I suddenly start talking to myself. Or some people think I'm talking to them and look very confused.

And on the topic of my bluetooth necklace - a couple of times it has connected to the TV with no warning, making me jump out of my skin! The first time it happened, my parents were watching some kind of action movie and I was walking down the hall from my room, when suddenly I hear gunfire and loud explosions. Definitely made me jump - but luckily I managed to save some of my dignity by not falling to the ground shouting 'don't shoot, don't shoot!', as I was very tempted to do.

Some people must also think I'm being very rude when I'm listening to music through my bluetooth necklace - like anyone wearing headphones and listening to music, I just don't hear anyone talking to me. But of course, because there are no wires, it just looks as if I'm ignoring them.

The same goes when I'm watching TV with my necklace on - my parents start talking to me but I just don't hear them. They laugh and say it's a likely excuse, but it really is!

Until another time,
Deaf Girl

Officials

Every month an online newspaper is released called 'The Hearing Times'. It publishes stories about/that affect HoH & deaf people. I enjoy reading the articles and normally come away feeling uplifted, as there are often positive articles in it.

However, this month there are several articles about how government officials are failing HoH & deaf people. For instance, in Wales a 52 year old deaf man was found in distress outside his home. Because he was deaf, the police that found him couldn't communicate with him. Instead of calling for an interpreter to ask what was wrong, they escorted him back into his flat and left him. Those police officers were the last people to see him alive - he was found dead in his apartment shortly afterwards.

Those that are close to me know that at the moment I am having my own issues with the police, and this latest story doesn't inspire any confidence in them whatsoever. Which is unfair. I know several people in the police force that are lovely people that are good at what they do. These people have a real passion for helping others and do a damn fine job. Unfortunately, there are just as many people that are complacent and don't care about what they do. Which affects the whole police force and gives people - myself included - a negative view of the force.

The same can be said for the NHS (National Health Service). An 83 year old deaf woman died in Gloucester whilst under the care of the NHS. Nurses at the hospital lost her hearing aid - making it impossible for her to communicate with the staff - and neglected to feed her. Because of 'the misplacement' of her hearing aids, she had no way to tell staff what was wrong.

Personally, I have had both good and bad experiences with NHS treatment. I have had several operations and when waking up from these procedures, my hearing aids have always been at hand. There have of course been instances with doctors and nurses trying to talk with me when I wasn't wearing my hearing aids - but the same can be said for everyone (including my parents!)

I just find it both appalling and sad that a) HoH/deaf people are treated differently by government officials and aren't as cared for and b) that those that DO care aren't noticed - we only hear the horror stories.

Yes, there are some nurses, doctors, police officers etc that are a disgrace to their proffession, but there are also some damn fine ones out there, whom we never hear about.

Deaf Girl

Deaf jokes

Thought I'd share some of my favourite deaf jokes. Of course, these aren't jokes by the deaf - those would be near impossible to translate into English and the punch-line wouldn't be the same. Enjoy!

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

An older gentleman had lost his hearing aid and wanted to get a new one. Before getting the new hearing aid, he wanted his ear cleaned out, so he went to his doctor. As the doctor was cleaning his ears, he noticed a foreign object lodged in the man's ear canal. With a pair a tweezers, the doctor removed the object. Upon closer examination, he discovered that it was a suppository. The doctor told the older gentleman that he had a suppository stuck in his ear. At this, the man exclaimed, "Now I know where I put my hearing aid!"

I noticed a deaf couple in the library talking to each other, evidently in a heated argument. The wife was getting more upset, using large signs, her husband could see that she was upset. Finally, he took both her hands in his, and signed, "Honey, you don't have to yell, I am not blind!"

A man marries a deaf girl. He signs: "let's make a code: if I want sex, I will squeeze your breast. In response, you can pull my penis once for Yes, and 50 times for No"

Deaf Girl