A right tit

Guys may not want to read any further than this! You know me, I don't shy away from any subject, especially not if it has to do with being deaf.

So, I went to the A&E last night (for those not living in Britain, A&E = Accident & Emergency, aka ER). I've been having some problems with one of my breasts. In that it is extremely sore and tender (and not for any of the fun reasons!). Specifically, my nipple. I've been on a course of antibiotics to try and clear it up, but it didn't work. Then last night it felt like it was burning.

So, at just after midnight, off to the hospital I go. Drive myself there, park and then walk in to the A&E. It's packed. There goes any hope of leaving before 5am. Standing at the reception for about 15 minutes until someone comes to the reception and takes my details. I realise the receptionist is hard of hearing.

"What's your name?"
"Victoria." - making sure I'm facing her and speaking clearly.
"Gloria?"
"Victoria." - speaking slightly louder and still facing her.
"Gloria?"
"Victoria!" - speaking very loudly and still facing her.

We continue like this for a while. At this point I don't care that the entire A&E can hear us and know my address, phone number, religious belief, my doctor's name and surgery address and anything else she asked and I shouted back. All I want to do is see a doctor to stop the excruciating burning sensation in my breast.

She asks me what the problem is. I reply that I'm having breast pain. Using the same volume of speech that I've been using this entire time. Okay, so the entire A&E knows my breast hurts. I turn to sit down and avoid looking at anyone, though I'm aware that people - men especially - are looking at me with interest and curiosity.

Ten minutes later, my name is called. I look around, wondering if someone else has the same name as me. Nope. Just me. The waiting hour is 4-5 hours, yet I'm being seen after waiting for only 10 minutes. People are no longer looking at me with curiosity, but with open hostility.

It soon becomes clear why I was seen so soon. The receptionist had misheard me. She thought I said I had CHEST pain not BREAST pain. Whoops. So once the nurse realises I'm not about to have a heart attack, he takes my temperature. Only he doesn't tell me he's going to take my temperature, instead he just picks up his thermometer and tries to put it in my ear.

He's extremely apologetic when he realises why that wasn't such a good idea. It's kind of difficult to measure the temparture of a hearing aid...

Then off I go to see a doctor. He asks me some questions, which I can't understand because he has his back to me as he's typing on the computer. I tell him that I'm sorry but that I can't hear him and I lip-read, so could he please face me when he's talking? He says no problem. He asks me a question, I respond. He turns to his computer and starts typing, whilst asking me another question. I remind him I can't read his lip with his back turned to me. He turns around and asks again. Then turns back to his computer and asks another question.

This continues for quite a while, with both of us ending up very frustrated.

Then he asks me if I'm breastfeeding. I reply that I'm not, to which he asks 'are you sure?'.

Uhm... yes. I think I'd be aware of the fact that a) I gave birth and b) some infant randomly attaches itself to my nipple and uses my breast as a buffet.

Then he tells me to let my breast 'just hang loose'. Lovely. Just what every woman wants to hear. Just let my breast hang loose. Fantastic.

Eventually, he gives me some more antibiotics and off I go home.

I do have to say, my previous experiences with the NHS have been okay - but this left me feeling far from confident. Oh well.

Deaf Girl