A nerd

The brain anatomy course I was on now seems like a very distant memory. I had a such a great time and would love to go again next year.

At times I did feel like the nerdiest of nerds. Especially when I could answer a question that even PJ (who's a neuro-pathologist) didn't know. That definitely made me feel a) smart [something which doesn't happen very often - what with most of my friends being mathematicians, chemists, engineers, physicists and biologist] and b) a nerd. A very big nerd.

Sadly, it was only a handful of times that I felt this way - most of the time I was learning completely new things. I loved it! I never thought I would love learning as much as I did on that course. Yep, I'm aware - I'm a nerd.

However, it wasn't great all the time. There were times that left me feeling horrible, like a dead weight. For the practical sessions (where we examined real brains) we were split up into groups of five. All 120 of us were in one room. The background noise in this room was deafening - literally. I could not hear a thing, let alone any words that anyone in my group were saying. So when they asked me where I thought the thalamus or Broca's area was in the brain, I had no idea what they were saying. I was trying to lip read, but so many of the terms have very similar names that I wasn't able to tell them apart. The looks I was getting from them - I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. They clearly thought my IQ matched that of an ant. I did explain to them - again and again - that I was deaf and that I was trying to lip-read. They didn't seem convinced - even when I showed them my hearing aids. They continued to talk to each other - deliberately, it seemed - facing away from me.

I then stopped trying. I figured; if they weren't bothered about me, then I wasn't bothered about them. I stayed behind after that session and went through everything myself - that way I hadn't missed out on anything. That was the first time that I felt left out in a vindictive way, purely because I am deaf. I didn't let it stop me from enjoying the rest of my course though.

In one of the sessions we were also shown the cochlear nerve - I asked about the exact location an implant would go. One of the demonstrators showed me and then said 'the benefits probably wouldn't be very good - but I suppose some hearing is better than no hearing.' I replied that he shouldn't say that in the deaf community. He seemed surprised (as a lot of hearing people do) that people don't actually see anything wrong or bad about being deaf, and that given the choice they would rather remain deaf.

It all came to an end too fast, and I soon found myself waiting for my train at the train station. It was extremely busy, and I had a few hours to kill. I did something I probably shouldn't have done - I found myself a seat and started to people watch and lip-read their conversations. There was a young couple that were trying to work up the nerve to go to the toilet together for some 'fun time'. There were two sisters having an arguement about which celebrity was hotter (I kid you not). There was a man in an army uniform saying goodbye to his girlfriend, promising her that he would be back soon. It was then that I realised that I was eavesdropping and shouldn't be doing that. I quickly stopped and stood in front of the announcement board waiting to see what platform my train would be on.

Suddenly, about 50 people all started moving towards the trains. I was confused - what had just happened? Nothing on the boards had changed. Were these people receiving instructions that no one else could hear? Were we being invaded? (I told you I was a nerd). I quickly asked someone standing next to me what was going on. He looked at me as if I had just sprouted horns on my head and said 'the conductor just shouted that the train heading to *destination I am heading* is at platform 3.'

I sighed with relief, realising that there was no imminent alien attack happening in the train station. The man standing next to me quickly moved away, obviously fearing this stranger that had asked him a question and then smiled like a lunatic.

I left wishing they had changed the board and hadn't relied on a conductor shouting. What if I wasn't the only deaf person there? People could easily miss their trains. Luckily, all was well and I arrived home a few hours later. It was a great few days, but I am glad to be home and sleeping in my own bed!

Deaf Girl