Au revoir

Last week was the leaving party for a good friend of mine, lets call her Frenchie. I will definitely miss her - university just won't be the same without Frenchie.

It was a good party. As Frenchie said herself; you can tell it's a good party when one or more people are either a) headfirst in the toilet and b) need to crash on the sofa. Both of which happened. It was definitely a terrific leaving party. Just hope Frenchie enjoyed herself as much as the rest of us did!

There was, however, one thing that did get on my nerves. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I got quite angry, which was probably an overreaction on my part. I did wonder whether to write about this or not. In the end I decided that this blog is here so hearing people can understand my world a bit, and this is part of that.

For most of the evening I was talking to two of my friends. Everything was fine. As the evening went on everyone was getting slightly more toxicated. My two friends then decided it would be funny to cover their mouths with their hands so I couldn't lip-read (remember, I rely on lip-reading at parties as there's too much background noise for my hearing aids to work properly). They then decided to whisper in my ear when I wasn't looking at them.

'Can you hear us?' 'What are we saying?' 'You can't hear us!!' 'This is funny.'

Hilarious.

I must admit, I did lose my temper and get angry. I know it wasn't meant in a nasty way, I know it was meant as a joke. I just couldn't take it like that. Especially when the 'joke' lasted around 5 minutes or so.

I imagine that you wouldn't go up to a blind person and say 'how many fingers am I holding up? Oh wait, you're blind, you can't see!' Or to someone that doesn't have any depth perception; 'try and grab my finger' and then proceed to move said finger. Or to someone in a wheelchair; 'let's run over there, oh wait, you can't, you're in a wheelchair!'

Perhaps I did overreact and shouldn't have gotten angry. Perhaps I should have taken it as a joke, as it was intended. I just couldn't. It just felt like something about me, a core part of me, was being mocked and ridiculed. Not only was I angry, I was also hurt and upset. It felt like I was being ridiculed and insulted for having a 'disability'.

They then made the comment 'oh, I bet we're going to read about this in her blog!' That's why it's taken me a week to write this entry, because I wasn't sure if I should or not. I know I did probably overreact and it shouldn't have affected me in the way it did. But it is something that affected me, so therefore, it needs to be in this blog.

Other than that, it was a great party. I made up with the friends concerned and we all enjoyed ourselves. I ended up sleeping over and crashing on a spare mattress on the floor in Frenchie's room.

I will miss Frenchie a lot. She's a great person and a wonderful friend - university just won't be the same without her.

Deaf Girl

Party time

It was my friend's birthday yesterday. Was a really fun night. We went for a picnic and then had a houseparty. All had a lovely time.

I tend to take a lot of pictures at big gatherings. Firstly, because I'm a photographer's daughter and secondly, because when you can't really hear, it's easier to take pictures. As I said before, people tend to think I'm aloof or not interested because I don't talk much at loud gatherings. I can try and focus on a conversation between a few people, as long as I can see their lips. But there's a lot of noise going on, and it's difficult to know who to focus on.

So it's easier to take pictures. I'm part of the party and am excused from trying to hear. People just roll their eyes. But it is easier to sit back and snap pictures, rather than sit back silently and look like I'm not enjoying myself. Which is never the case, as I've said in a previous entry, am happy to enjoy the atmosphere, and can talk with the people directly close to me. I enjoy parties just as much as anyone, but I enjoy them for different reasons.

So, that's why I tend to take a lot of pictures. It's also one of the reasons why I used to smoke. If things are really noisy and loud and I just can't focus on any one thing in particular - like in a club, where the music is normally just to loud to hear anyone, it's easier to have an excuse to slip out. Like smoking. It's easier to say I'm going out for a smoke than it is to say it's too loud, I can't focus on anything, it's like all the sounds are a blur and is slightly uncomfortable. I love clubbing. But I need some time outside as well. And if I'm smoking when I'm outside, people don't give me any strange looks, whereas if I'm standing outside doing nothing, I get very strange looks.

Of course, now I've quit smoking I'll just have to go back to getting strange looks.

It's also the reason why I don't tend to talk on the dancefloor - it's basically impossible for me to make sense of anything. And why I prefer to stand/sit in the corner to talk where the music is generally somewhat quieter.

I also don't wear my hearing aids when I'm clubbing. It picks up the loudest noise, in this case, it's the music. There's no point in wearing them. I do wear them at parties, but once the music comes one - which it should, it's a party - it makes it more difficult to hear, as the music and all the people talking and whatever other noises are going on, just makes all the noises jumble together.

But like I said, I love parties and I love to go clubbing. If people are going out, you can hardly stop me! But it is slightly difficult for hard of hearing and deaf people. We enjoy parties and clubbing in slightly different ways, but still enjoy them none-the-less.

Deaf Girl