I'm watching a documentary that my parents recorded for me a while back. It's called "Deaf Teens: Hearing World". It follows a few d/Deaf teenagers around as they live their lives.
One of them, born to a deaf family, is having a cochlear implant before she goes to university.
Another, born to a hearing family, goes to a deaf school where the emphasis is on learning to lip-read and speak. So much so that using BSL is forbidden in class.
Another one is born to a Deaf family and is completely comfortable with who she is.
Another one was born to a hearing family, where they view his deafness as a disability and there is a sort of pity surrounding him.
The one that goes to a deaf boarding school has just been told off for not wearing her hearing aids. I'm amazed parents would send their child to a school like that. By doing that, they are teaching her that it is wrong to be deaf. They are teaching her that she should hide a part of her.
I don't deny that learning to lip-read is a good thing. I am learning to lip-read, it does help to get by in the hearing world. But this school is completely isolating these kids from the Deaf community. They went these kids to become a part of the hearing world, but these kids will always feel like they're on the edge of it, that they're not really part of it. And by telling them they can't use BSL, they are preventing them from becoming a part of the Deaf world.
To me, this is wrong.
I can relate to some of it as well. One of the girls has just gone to university. This is what she said:
"It's really hard trying to understand what people are saying, because obviously each person has a different lip pattern and the way the pronounce things, maybe because of their accent. It gets to a point where I just sort of give up and let myself sink back into the background and watch their lips move and not understand what they're saying."
Lip-reading is extremely difficult. Every person's lips move slightly differently when they speak - depending on their accent and on them as a person. So you have to be able to take that into account and focus all your energy on it. Which isn't so bad if you're talking to them one-on-one, but if you're in a group and everyone has a different accent, it gets extremely difficult and tiring. The easiest thing to do is to just sink back and become an observer. That's why when I'm at a party or in a group social situation, I prefer talking to only one or two people. Group discussions are a nightmare.
They also talk about hearing aids. When you're d/Deaf, you're used to silence. If you're then put in a situation which is extremely noisy, it's uncomfortable. When you're d/Deaf, you're not used to noise, it's not what is normal to you. You wear the hearing aids so you can function in the hearing world. Right now, I'm home alone and I'm not wearing hearing aids. I'm writing this blog and watching the documentary. When I'm writing in here, I pause the documentary, as I can't read the subtitles whilst I'm writing in here.
It's nice to go back to the quiet. I don't enjoy wearing my hearing aids. Yes, it's nice to hear the birds sing and to be able to hear people. But when I don't need to hear, I will take them out. If a programme that I'm watching has subtitles, I don't need to hear it. If I'm alone in the house, there's nothing that I need to hear. Even though I grew up in the hearing world and for the first 18 years of my life I was hearing, I'm not anymore. I'm not really part of the Deaf world either, I'm inbetween the two. Yes, I grew up hearing, but I am now deaf. I don't need to hear noise all the time. It gives me a headache.
There are so many attitudes to deafness and deaf people. Even within the Deaf community, there are so many attitudes and opinions. So many of us are self-conscious. Uncomfortable with who we are. Desperately trying to fit in to a world that, as a whole, is not accepting of us, is uncomfortable around us.
Like the deaf school that gives detention if you use BSL. It can be difficult to find your way in the world. Especially if you're trying to figure out which world you belong in - the hearing or the Deaf. But at the end of the day, you should never be made to feel ashamed of yourself. You should never be made to feel like you are sub-human because you are not part of the hearing world. There is nothing wrong with being d/Deaf, just like there is nothing wrong with being hearing.
But that deaf school... that's really got me going. I remember what it was like being a teenager (oh so many years ago!). For most of my teenage years I was hearing. It was difficult trying to work out who I was. Then when I started to lose my hearing, it became even more difficult. Suddenly I realised that there's more than one world, but that the other world is largely invisible to hearing people. Luckily I had great friends and family that supported me as I explored this new world that I had just been thrown in to. I was never made to feel like this new world was in any way inferior to the one that I had grown up in, nor was it in any way superior. It was just different. But for this school to take children that are trying to find themselves, trying to work out who they are and trying to overcome insecurities and tell them that the world that they are born in to is a lesser world and that they should work at getting by in the hearing world which will never fully accept them...
Maybe I'm overreacting, but I think that is horrendous.
I am deaf. I am intelligent. I have a sense of humour. I am stubborn. I am not ashamed of who I am. No one should be ashamed of who they are.
The documentary finishes after it's done a piece about Sencity. It's a nightclub in that is specifically for the d/Deaf. It was filmed on the opening night and it looks amazing! It's desrcibed as an attack on the senses and it looks fantastic. I would love to go! They have a vibrating dance floor so that you can feel the beat of the music. To every track they play they have insence to match the mood of the music...
It looks amazing. I've just had a look at their website and this is what they offer:
aromajockey » smell the senses
sensefloor » feel the music vibrating through your body
signdancers » watch the lyrics and emotion of the songs
foodjockey » taste the different emotions
visual jockey » watch inspiring images
light jockey » enter a new world of colours
feel the music suit » feel the music vibrating through your body
dancers » get excited about their body language
hairdressers » make your hair look kinky
massage » find a moment of rest at the party
visagie » a new face or an extreme make-up?
That is one place that I definitely want to go to. A place that celebrates who you are and doesn't try and make you into someone or something you're not. Amazing.
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Daily Mail
Yesterday the Daily Mail posted an article entitled "Deaf and dumb girl tells of UK 'slave' ordeal".
My BSL tutor is furious about it, as am I. The term 'deaf and dumb' is a hugely offence and out-of-date term to describe those with hearing impairments. By using that term, it implies that d/Deaf people are not intellectual, that we suffer from a form of mental retardation. It implies that because our hearing is not perfect, we aren't intelligent.
Deaf does not equal dumb.
As a whole, we are not stupid. We are just as intelligent as a hearing person - being d/Deaf has nothing to do with intelligence. Using that term takes us right back to the old days when Deaf people were ostracised, when we were hidden away and were the black sheep of the family - an embarrassment. Deaf and dumb was a term used to describe idiots. It's extremely derogatory.
Obviously, the media still uses this term - which only hinders the fight for d/Deaf rights and the recognisition of BSL as a language. It implies that our Deaf culture and Deaf community do not count for anything - that we are second class citizens, that we are idiots. It is appalling that this degrading term is still being used by the media.
I am Deaf. I am also a university student. I graduated from school with high marks. I am not dumb.
Yet by using that term, the Daily Mail claims that, because most d/Deaf people don't speak English, we are less intellectual than our hearing counterparts - indeed, we are stupid.
Our ears don't work as yours do - but our brains are just fine, thank you very much.
I am writing a letter of complaint to the Daily Mail - it would be great if you could as well.
Deaf Girl
My BSL tutor is furious about it, as am I. The term 'deaf and dumb' is a hugely offence and out-of-date term to describe those with hearing impairments. By using that term, it implies that d/Deaf people are not intellectual, that we suffer from a form of mental retardation. It implies that because our hearing is not perfect, we aren't intelligent.
Deaf does not equal dumb.
As a whole, we are not stupid. We are just as intelligent as a hearing person - being d/Deaf has nothing to do with intelligence. Using that term takes us right back to the old days when Deaf people were ostracised, when we were hidden away and were the black sheep of the family - an embarrassment. Deaf and dumb was a term used to describe idiots. It's extremely derogatory.
Obviously, the media still uses this term - which only hinders the fight for d/Deaf rights and the recognisition of BSL as a language. It implies that our Deaf culture and Deaf community do not count for anything - that we are second class citizens, that we are idiots. It is appalling that this degrading term is still being used by the media.
I am Deaf. I am also a university student. I graduated from school with high marks. I am not dumb.
Yet by using that term, the Daily Mail claims that, because most d/Deaf people don't speak English, we are less intellectual than our hearing counterparts - indeed, we are stupid.
Our ears don't work as yours do - but our brains are just fine, thank you very much.
I am writing a letter of complaint to the Daily Mail - it would be great if you could as well.
Deaf Girl
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Capitalisation of the D
A friend of mine has recently had an article published in our online student newspaper. The article (which you should read here), is about Sign Language and people's reaction to it. The comments that it received got me thinking.
Most people don't realise that there's a differnce between 'Deaf' and 'deaf'. The capitalisation of the 'd' is important in the Deaf culture. Most deaf people, prefer being called Deaf, not deaf. Deaf, with a capital, refers to the Deaf culture, whereas deaf without the capital refers to being hearing impaired.
Deaf culture is a vital part of BSL. Deaf culture is thriving. Many hearing people don't realise this, as it's very rare that they're involved in Deaf culture. But this culture has been thriving for years and there's a big sense of community. Even when teaching BSL was illegal, the Deaf culture lived on, avoiding the law and teaching their kids not only BSL, but everything that comes with being Deaf.
You can be deaf, without being Deaf. At the minute, I'm deaf, as I'm not fully immersed in Deaf culture. Likewise, you can also be Deaf, without being deaf. For example, a hearing child brought up by one or more Deaf parents is usually fully involved in the Deaf community, even though they are hearing.
When referring to any sort of culture, you would normally capitalise the first letter (ie. British community, French culture etc), and it is exactly the same with the Deaf community.
Me
Most people don't realise that there's a differnce between 'Deaf' and 'deaf'. The capitalisation of the 'd' is important in the Deaf culture. Most deaf people, prefer being called Deaf, not deaf. Deaf, with a capital, refers to the Deaf culture, whereas deaf without the capital refers to being hearing impaired.
Deaf culture is a vital part of BSL. Deaf culture is thriving. Many hearing people don't realise this, as it's very rare that they're involved in Deaf culture. But this culture has been thriving for years and there's a big sense of community. Even when teaching BSL was illegal, the Deaf culture lived on, avoiding the law and teaching their kids not only BSL, but everything that comes with being Deaf.
You can be deaf, without being Deaf. At the minute, I'm deaf, as I'm not fully immersed in Deaf culture. Likewise, you can also be Deaf, without being deaf. For example, a hearing child brought up by one or more Deaf parents is usually fully involved in the Deaf community, even though they are hearing.
When referring to any sort of culture, you would normally capitalise the first letter (ie. British community, French culture etc), and it is exactly the same with the Deaf community.
Me
Monday, 24 October 2011
Frenchie returns
Now that I'm back at uni, BSL classes have started up again. It's great signing again - though I've realised I've grown very lazy over the summer. The class was coming to an end, I was tired and just wanted to go home to sleep. The teacher asked me something, to which I replied. Except, because I was lazy, I only half-heartedly signed. Wrong move. The teacher looked at me, and then I realised my mistake. In being lazy, I had made the wrong sign. Instead of signing 'friend', I had signed a very rude word. The two are quite similar, especially when you're tired.
Luckily she saw the funny side. Serves me right though! I'll make sure not to get complacent, and give signing my full attention.
Despite that slight mishap, it's great to be signing again. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed it. I love it. And the great news? My Mum has started to learn BSL as well. I'm absolutely thrilled about that.
For the past few days I've had a friend (Frenchie) stay over. It's been lovely seeing her. Have definitely missed her presence here at university. Hadn't seen her since the start of summer - so we definitely had a lot to catch up on. Which of course, meant staying up till the early hours of the morning, chatting.
She was lying in her bed, I was lying in mine, and we were having a good catch up and gossip. Was lovely. I do have a problem with late-night chats though - when do I take my hearing aids out? Often, the conversation will start up again when the lights are out and we're both just lying there. I normally take my hearing aids out before the lights go out. This time it was a guessing game - I didn't want to appear rude and not respond when I actually hadn't heard...
Frenchie is also an early bird. Or rather - I am not a morning person, and compared to me, everyone is an early bird. I like my lie-ins. Frenchie likes getting up in time for breakfast (unless I have an early lecture, I tend to miss breakfast and only surface for lunch). However, this wasn't an issue. She could move about and get ready with no fear of waking me up. There's definitely benefits to being deaf!
By the end of her stay with me, Frenchie had lost her voice. She started out by sounding nice and husky, and ended up sounding like a heavy-breather breathing down the phone... Now, losing your voice is annoying at the best of time. But especially if you're Frenchie - that girl likes to talk! Which I find great, because I like to talk just as much. She was struggling by the end though, with absolutely no voice.
Luckily - I can lip-read. It was great - Frenchie would mouth the words to me, giving me a chance to practice my lip-reading, and allowing us to continue to gossip. It also meant we were a bit quieter (my poor neighbour - he's probably been kept awake by random bursts of uncontrolled laughter in the early hours of the morning), as there was only one of us laughing.
Tell you what, lip-reading would have been a useful skill to have had when I was younger and having sleep-overs, and my pesky parents kept telling us that they could hear us talking and to go to sleep...
V
Luckily she saw the funny side. Serves me right though! I'll make sure not to get complacent, and give signing my full attention.
Despite that slight mishap, it's great to be signing again. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed it. I love it. And the great news? My Mum has started to learn BSL as well. I'm absolutely thrilled about that.
For the past few days I've had a friend (Frenchie) stay over. It's been lovely seeing her. Have definitely missed her presence here at university. Hadn't seen her since the start of summer - so we definitely had a lot to catch up on. Which of course, meant staying up till the early hours of the morning, chatting.
She was lying in her bed, I was lying in mine, and we were having a good catch up and gossip. Was lovely. I do have a problem with late-night chats though - when do I take my hearing aids out? Often, the conversation will start up again when the lights are out and we're both just lying there. I normally take my hearing aids out before the lights go out. This time it was a guessing game - I didn't want to appear rude and not respond when I actually hadn't heard...
Frenchie is also an early bird. Or rather - I am not a morning person, and compared to me, everyone is an early bird. I like my lie-ins. Frenchie likes getting up in time for breakfast (unless I have an early lecture, I tend to miss breakfast and only surface for lunch). However, this wasn't an issue. She could move about and get ready with no fear of waking me up. There's definitely benefits to being deaf!
By the end of her stay with me, Frenchie had lost her voice. She started out by sounding nice and husky, and ended up sounding like a heavy-breather breathing down the phone... Now, losing your voice is annoying at the best of time. But especially if you're Frenchie - that girl likes to talk! Which I find great, because I like to talk just as much. She was struggling by the end though, with absolutely no voice.
Luckily - I can lip-read. It was great - Frenchie would mouth the words to me, giving me a chance to practice my lip-reading, and allowing us to continue to gossip. It also meant we were a bit quieter (my poor neighbour - he's probably been kept awake by random bursts of uncontrolled laughter in the early hours of the morning), as there was only one of us laughing.
Tell you what, lip-reading would have been a useful skill to have had when I was younger and having sleep-overs, and my pesky parents kept telling us that they could hear us talking and to go to sleep...
V
Monday, 19 September 2011
Popular culture
This past week seems to have been a very good week for BSL. It was everywhere I looked. Gone are the days when signing used to be punishable, we're going mainstream and being recognised. It's a good feeling.
I was watching a new series called 'The Body Farm' with my parents. Basically, it's CSI set in England. I became absurdly excited when I realised that the storyline for this episode involved Deaf people. Yay! I then became even more excited when I realised I could understand what they were signing. Go me.
The second time I noticed Sign Language being used was in a WebComic I read. Yes, I am aware that this is extremely nerdy, and I probably just lost all my streetcred by admitting I read webcomics. Oh well. Anyway, a character in this WebComic (Girls With Slingshots) is Deaf and signs. She never had much of a big part in it, but the past few episodes revolved around her. Which was exciting to me.
I'm a nerd. Shut up. Stop judging me.
Finally, the other thing that has me very excited is the music video to 'You Need Me' by Ed Sheeran. A friend gave me the link a while ago, but it's recently made it in to the Top 10. Ed Sheeran is a UK singer and his music video features a young signing actor. He signs the entire song. What's even better is that I can understand almost the entire song by the signing. I love it. Here's the video:
Just three little things, but they're pretty major. BSL is classed as one of the national languages in the UK. However, you hardly see it anywhere in popular culture. Until now. There's still a long way to go - but we're getting there!
Deaf Girl
I was watching a new series called 'The Body Farm' with my parents. Basically, it's CSI set in England. I became absurdly excited when I realised that the storyline for this episode involved Deaf people. Yay! I then became even more excited when I realised I could understand what they were signing. Go me.
The second time I noticed Sign Language being used was in a WebComic I read. Yes, I am aware that this is extremely nerdy, and I probably just lost all my streetcred by admitting I read webcomics. Oh well. Anyway, a character in this WebComic (Girls With Slingshots) is Deaf and signs. She never had much of a big part in it, but the past few episodes revolved around her. Which was exciting to me.
I'm a nerd. Shut up. Stop judging me.
Finally, the other thing that has me very excited is the music video to 'You Need Me' by Ed Sheeran. A friend gave me the link a while ago, but it's recently made it in to the Top 10. Ed Sheeran is a UK singer and his music video features a young signing actor. He signs the entire song. What's even better is that I can understand almost the entire song by the signing. I love it. Here's the video:
Just three little things, but they're pretty major. BSL is classed as one of the national languages in the UK. However, you hardly see it anywhere in popular culture. Until now. There's still a long way to go - but we're getting there!
Deaf Girl
Monday, 5 September 2011
Take it off
Not long ago I was going through airport security. I did the usual things; take my laptop out of my bag, put all the stuff from my pockets in to the tray (seriously, how is it possible to accumulate so much junk in a pocket that only fits 4 fingers?!) and take my shoes off. Stand in line, waiting for the bored security guards to call me through the metal detector. Get to the other side, without setting the metal detector off, and collect my stuff.
Only, I'm approached by two security guards. At first I think they're going to walk past me, then I realise they're walking towards me. The man (in his late 40s, short, fat and with a beard) looks at me with suspicious eyes. Uhoh. Have I done something wrong?
'Excuse me, what is that?' he says, pointing towards my chest.
I stare at him, looking slightly shocked, not entirely sure how to respond. Are my breasts illegal?
The woman with him, seeing my confusion, clears things up for me, 'he means the necklace'.
I look down. Oh. He's not pointing at my breasts (glad to know that having breasts isn't a crime), but at my bluetooth necklace. What's wrong with my bluetooth necklace?
'I've never heard of a bluetooth necklace,' he almost growls at me, 'why do you have one?'
'It connects my hearing aids to my mobile phone, so I can call people.'
'I've never heard of such a thing. Take it off.'
'It connects to my hearing aids.'
'Take. It. Off.'
I stare at him, he stares at me. I am clutching my necklace. I know I won't get it back if he takes it. I would be lost without it, and it's not exactly cheap. Around us, people are starting to look at us with interest. I feel myself going a lovely crimson colour (why do I blush so easily dammit!). I don't want to cause trouble, and I certainly don't want to be arrested by airport security and miss my flight. I just want to get on my way, with my necklace.
'Please, I'm deaf, I have hearing aids, the necklace connects to it so I can hear,' I say, whilst lifting up my hear and turning to him, showing him my hearing aids.
The man is about to say something, but luckily the woman interrupts.
'It's okay. Thank you.' She turns to leave. The man glares at her back, then at me and then, with a loud sigh, turns and follows the woman.
She was obviously satisfied with my explanation and realised that my necklace wasn't some sort of remote detonator.
Don't get me wrong - I think airport security do a good job, I'm very thankful towards them. I just think things would have been easier had one of them not been such a miserable guts.
Deaf Girl
Only, I'm approached by two security guards. At first I think they're going to walk past me, then I realise they're walking towards me. The man (in his late 40s, short, fat and with a beard) looks at me with suspicious eyes. Uhoh. Have I done something wrong?
'Excuse me, what is that?' he says, pointing towards my chest.
I stare at him, looking slightly shocked, not entirely sure how to respond. Are my breasts illegal?
The woman with him, seeing my confusion, clears things up for me, 'he means the necklace'.
I look down. Oh. He's not pointing at my breasts (glad to know that having breasts isn't a crime), but at my bluetooth necklace. What's wrong with my bluetooth necklace?
'I've never heard of a bluetooth necklace,' he almost growls at me, 'why do you have one?'
'It connects my hearing aids to my mobile phone, so I can call people.'
'I've never heard of such a thing. Take it off.'
'It connects to my hearing aids.'
'Take. It. Off.'
I stare at him, he stares at me. I am clutching my necklace. I know I won't get it back if he takes it. I would be lost without it, and it's not exactly cheap. Around us, people are starting to look at us with interest. I feel myself going a lovely crimson colour (why do I blush so easily dammit!). I don't want to cause trouble, and I certainly don't want to be arrested by airport security and miss my flight. I just want to get on my way, with my necklace.
'Please, I'm deaf, I have hearing aids, the necklace connects to it so I can hear,' I say, whilst lifting up my hear and turning to him, showing him my hearing aids.
The man is about to say something, but luckily the woman interrupts.
'It's okay. Thank you.' She turns to leave. The man glares at her back, then at me and then, with a loud sigh, turns and follows the woman.
She was obviously satisfied with my explanation and realised that my necklace wasn't some sort of remote detonator.
Don't get me wrong - I think airport security do a good job, I'm very thankful towards them. I just think things would have been easier had one of them not been such a miserable guts.
Deaf Girl
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
I'm right here!
Sometimes I think it must be difficult for my friends and family to adapt to my deafness. Most are happy to adapt and do so without complaint. However, a few sometimes let it be known that it's quite a hassle. It does sometimes leave me feeling as if I'm purposefully putting people out by having a disability. Shame on me. It is difficult sometimes to not feel like a burden.
However, I'm aware that it is difficult to change and to adapt. Most of my friends at university have only ever known me as deaf, so for them it's not too difficult. However, for those that have known me for a long time, it can be very difficult to adjust. For most of my relationship with them, I have been hearing. It is then difficult to change a lifetime of behaviour and adjust to new behaviours.
I'm aware it's difficult. I know it's difficult - it's difficult for me as well. I do have to admit though, that it does sometimes hurt. For instance, if I say I'm taking my hearing aids out and won't be able to hear you (unless you're facing me and I can lip read), talking to my back is not only useless but also slightly hurtful. It makes me think 'do I mean so little to you that you don't take in what I tell you about my disability?' It's common for people to forget, I understand that. But it can hurt - it can feel like you haven't even crossed their mind.
Luckily, this doesn't happen too often.
Something which does occur quite often, however, is people talking about me to my family - when I'm sitting right there!
To my Dad: 'Oh, so she's deaf?'
Me: 'Yes'
A quick glance at me, turning back to my Dad: 'But she can hear sometimes?'
Me: 'Yes'
Ignoring me, asking Dad again: 'So how does that work?'
Me: 'Without my hearing aids I can't hear. With them, I can mostly hear okay.'
Looking at me thoughtfully, then turning back to Dad: 'So do you sign to her to communicate?'
Uhm... Hello? I thought I was meant to be the deaf one, not you. What, have I suddenly become invisible? I'm sitting right here! I'm deaf, not dumb. IQ points aren't linked to hearing - just because I'm losing my hearing, doesn't mean my IQ is rapidly falling. You can have an intelligent conversation with me you know. I know, it's shocking - people with disabilities can be intelligent. Shock, horror!
Deaf Girl
However, I'm aware that it is difficult to change and to adapt. Most of my friends at university have only ever known me as deaf, so for them it's not too difficult. However, for those that have known me for a long time, it can be very difficult to adjust. For most of my relationship with them, I have been hearing. It is then difficult to change a lifetime of behaviour and adjust to new behaviours.
I'm aware it's difficult. I know it's difficult - it's difficult for me as well. I do have to admit though, that it does sometimes hurt. For instance, if I say I'm taking my hearing aids out and won't be able to hear you (unless you're facing me and I can lip read), talking to my back is not only useless but also slightly hurtful. It makes me think 'do I mean so little to you that you don't take in what I tell you about my disability?' It's common for people to forget, I understand that. But it can hurt - it can feel like you haven't even crossed their mind.
Luckily, this doesn't happen too often.
Something which does occur quite often, however, is people talking about me to my family - when I'm sitting right there!
To my Dad: 'Oh, so she's deaf?'
Me: 'Yes'
A quick glance at me, turning back to my Dad: 'But she can hear sometimes?'
Me: 'Yes'
Ignoring me, asking Dad again: 'So how does that work?'
Me: 'Without my hearing aids I can't hear. With them, I can mostly hear okay.'
Looking at me thoughtfully, then turning back to Dad: 'So do you sign to her to communicate?'
Uhm... Hello? I thought I was meant to be the deaf one, not you. What, have I suddenly become invisible? I'm sitting right here! I'm deaf, not dumb. IQ points aren't linked to hearing - just because I'm losing my hearing, doesn't mean my IQ is rapidly falling. You can have an intelligent conversation with me you know. I know, it's shocking - people with disabilities can be intelligent. Shock, horror!
Deaf Girl
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